


Our hearts beat the same rhythm

by ssii8



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dark Harry, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mpreg Louis, Omega Louis, Sad Louis, Scared Louis, Scary Harry, Smut, Top Harry, angst with happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-05-28 00:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 45,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15036722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssii8/pseuds/ssii8
Summary: "You knew, who I was when you agreed to be with me."And Louis did know. Faith had a funny way of working because Harry Styles was Louis Tomlinson' soulmate.Harry Styles, who was the epitome of word ruthless man and Louis had been okay with it.That's until Louis gets pregnant and has to run for his baby safety.





	1. You knew, who I was

**Author's Note:**

> If you have excellent knowledge of English language - please contact me for a beta reader position, I would be more than glad to have some help, as this chapter isn't perfect.
> 
> Also, if you notice any mistakes - let me know in the comments, please bring constructive criticism, copy the sentences that are wrong and let's make this work better together.
> 
> Now, I have made a comeback, next chapter to be expected in the next few weeks, I'll see based on comments.

"You knew, who I was when you agreed to be with me." - Harry would say to Louis harshly, almost spitting the words out. Sometimes he even looked as if he was seconds away from punching the living shit out of Louis – that's how far their arguments could go.

Both of them were stubborn, this much was clear, but the thing was - neither of them wanted to back down. The only difference? Harry Styles didn't know how to back down. He never had a reason to learn.

His name frightened others - it was a threat and Harry moved forward in life, embracing the fear of others.

Harry Styles was scary, strong, rich and most importantly – very powerful.

He was the ruler and he knew it.

He had a throne of his own and he owned it with such power, no one dared to question it.

It doesn’t mean his doing was illegal. It wasn't. Not by any law at least, no matter how much others tried to prove differently.

Styles' Industries started off as something very innocent – Harry's grandfather was a smart man; he started a tiny business, selling various locks accompanied by a key, making a huge improvement indoors' security department, probably the biggest one since the industrial revolution. Living in the 20th-century people required such things and man became wealthy; Later on, using his own imagination he invested in rich metal, creating new, more secured, locks.

Back in his days, the houses varied from mansions to bungalows to cottages and people were in demand to keep their welfares secured. So it's only expected that all those people were ready to invest in something small but assuring. Harry's father came up with a solution called 'safes' and after him, there was the only way - forward. Styles’ Industries became known all around the world. They were the best-trusted company when it came to security matters. The only downfall was that they sold everything to everyone, not paying any attention, to who they were selling things. They had no shame when it came to who the buyer was – it could be the president of the United States of America, North Korea's dictator or the world's most awful gangsters – Styles' Industries assisted them all.

No one liked them for it but everyone respected them.

However, the real breakthrough happened when Harry Styles, the son of Robin Styles, entered the game. That's when Styles' Industries became not only a business. Harry took the delicate heritage and altered it into an empire.

Understanding how the demand to be assured of being secured worked, Harry brought Styles' Industries to the new era, introducing smart locks and starting to run completely new sector of security. He introduced a new thing called 'anonymous safeguards', which was a synonym of secret agents. Harry would recruit them, teach them and then… He would give them a contract over a huge sum of money.

His people were the best, the only ones never going out of the market, always on top of it. Governments wanted Styles' Industries to be their shield, to help teach their own soldiers, to get Harry’s prepared people to assist their government affairs. They also demanded loyalty over enormous sums of money. But the latter one never really bothered Harry.

Money was flowing in as it is. Not giving in to anybody was exactly what kept Harry on top and he very smartly continued to play this game. He never gave a direct answer to anyone – others were his Muppets, not the other way around.

Ignoring the requests he kept every file, case – everything – highly classified. No one knew with whom was he working, no one knew if he didn’t sell secrets, but no one had another choice than to hire someone from Styles' Industries.

The man could manipulate information, every leader of the free and not so free world, but… He never did that, which is why no one dared to touch him. Even when information became a very delicate weapon, Styles never changed his work policy.

So yeah, not doing anything illegal Harry Styles was far from what anyone considered a good human being.

Now, you could see why he knew no boundaries, knew nothing about backing down and never reacted well to being told what to do. But faith had a funny way of working because Harry Styles was Louis Tomlinson’ soulmate.

Soulmates were a rarity. It was considered a gift and entitled people to happiness for forever. It enabled people to develop a strong bond, it always was between Omega and Alpha and it was the only case were male omegas could get pregnant. Only less than 3% of people were lucky enough to have one – Louis Tomlinson had one damn of luck. Simple, ordinary man, working as a primary school teacher, considered himself nothing else but boring with a basic lifestyle everyone had.

Apparently, he wasn’t as basic and simple as he thought because his soulmate was a ruthless man, who… Who was Louis' soulmate and that's about it? It's not like you can choose to be or not to be as separation causes severe anxiety and serious heartbreak and Louis, even if full of doubt, agreed to give Harry a chance.

And to be honest it wasn’t as bad as you would expect from someone known as cruel man. Well, not a fluffy romance, you read in books – that’s for sure. Being with Harry meant separate bedrooms, occasional dates and lots of rough sex that Louis didn’t necessarily minded. Plus, Louis was always taken care of. Everything he could always want was given to him sooner than he could think about it. And even though he hadn’t had Harry as the person he always thought he’ll be having by his side, it was fairly okay.

To be honest, it was always okay, except those two times when Louis thought he had gone too far in arguing and that Harry will hit him. As crazy as it may sounds – he considered himself lucky. From such an emotionless person that Harry was, Louis didn’t even dare to hope for something more than what he was given.

The first time Louis thought Harry will punch him was when he himself threw few punches at Harry and called him names that were pure lies even if it sounded right in a moment of heat.

The second time happened during a massive argument they had and… Louis said things that made Harry lash out and push Louis into the wall. But that’s where it stopped – Harry didn’t dare to hurt him. After all, Louis was an omega and Harry could sense his distress or fear, which Louis always thought to be satisfying enough for him.

However, sometimes he did something much worse than causing Louis physical pain – Harry kept reminding Louis that when they were bounding and later on marrying each other Louis knew exactly who he was. It was a really subtle form of arguing and even if no screams were heard, this was enough to inform Louis that it was his own doing that got him into the situation.

Did it scare Louis? Hell yeah.

Did he think about leaving Harry? Never.

Louis has never been the one to have illusions. He knew reality and he knew that what he was receiving was the most Harry could give. This was how he was made and Louis embraced that because he knew – the only one meaning something to Harry was him.

But Louis rarely abused this revelation. Most of the time he kept his head out of his husband business' and kept things to himself but only once he had to say something to Harry, pout and blink with his beautiful blue eyes and Harry would do it.

Louis could say that he would only be happy if Harry got him a flying car and best scientist, mechanics would be working on it the next morning. Or it could be Louis mentioning that he didn’t want Harry to go anywhere that day, even if it had been a meeting with a really high profile figure – Harry would be at home. However, Louis failed to see the reason to behave like that as cuddling was more of an awkward thing that happened only during his heats.

Harry wasn't the one to be very open about his feelings even to the bits of feelings he had. Louis was the one to keep silent to avoid his worse case scenario he had created in his head.

Soulmates or not – miscommunication sometimes meant a lot of harm and it became a severe case when one morning Louis Tomlinson found out he was pregnant.

*

Louis' hands were shaking.

And he knew why even before he had taken a glance at the pregnancy test – he knew it was going to be positive anyway. With his luck – there was nothing else that could be expected. Louis had been knocked up with a child of a man, that was destined to be his soulmate, even if from time to time Louis failed to perceive, why fate had such a funny way of working.

He laughed humorlessly as tears prickled at the corners of his eyes and he looked down at the test. See? He knew it was going to be positive. Sadness filled his body as he tried to even out his breaths, but he couldn’t help it, he felt so pathetic. He was even forced to take the test at school, fearing of Harry or the housekeeper finding out once they went through his stuff. He wasn’t sure that they did, but he wouldn’t be surprised to say at least.

So yeah, great, now Louis was pregnant, clearly, for about six/seven weeks now, since the heat was the only way that could happen, also, he had no one else to blame but himself because he had failed to notice that the suppressants were outdated.

He felt nauseous just at the thought of being a parent, actual parent, in less than eight months and he had no idea what to do. At least he knew what he didn't want to do – he didn’t want to tell Harry, that’s for sure. But he had no idea what else was he supposed to do.

His bank account was tracked, that’s for sure, hell, even he himself was tracked – he had a driver, a safeguard and he had been trying to reason with Harry to be allowed driving by himself for months, which was not a successful mission of his.

Honestly, what was he even on about? Most probably there was a safeguard or Harry on their way right now, because Harry had sensed Louis distress. There was no way he wouldn't have, that soulmate thing worked that way. No secrets, no matter how much needed they were.

Suddenly Louis' phone rang, startling him from his seat on cold toilet tiles, confirming what he had just thought once the callers' ID popped out, it was Harry. He could, of course, not to pick it up and then be forced to leave his job – quit on the only thing that kept him sane and close to normal society.

Louis picked up because he knew better than not to.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled out before Harry could ask.

“Somehow I am finding it hard to believe, Louis.” Harry’s voice was serious and Louis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes. Even when the times were hard, he didn’t have a moment for himself, how great.

“Yeah, well if I could be left alone for just one fucking minute, then that would be great.” Louis snapped, not being able to bite his tongue. There was a short pause and Louis gulped for what was about to come.

“I waited ten minutes before calling.”

Harry reasoned and Louis wanted to throw his phone at the wall. He probably should, there must have been some breaking point at which Harry couldn’t buy him another one, not if Louis broke them all right after getting one.

Passive aggressive was the only way to go.

“I’m telling you that I’m fine.” Louis huffed, standing up from the tiles and wrapping the test in thick layers of toilet paper, you could never know.

"You should be done in an hour, I'm coming," Harry stated and Louis flared his nostrils.

He despised that Harry was, in fact, right, Louis did have another class before his day was over but he didn't want Harry to come and take him back. He'd rather see no Harry today, thank you very much. It would take about three minutes for Harry to figure out that something was off and then about three more to force the truth out of Louis. Currently, there was nothing else Louis wanted more than not seeing his husband.

“Your presence is not requested or wanted so please don’t bother.” There was a pause. Quite a long one and Louis would be a liar to say that pauses never caused tension. He often thought whether or not Harry was able to sense the bubbling anxiety in Louis during those pauses and he was yet to unearth the answer to his question.

“Very well, I will see you in an hour.”

The line went dead and Louis was left in silence that didn’t feel this intimidating before he got the call. Clutching his phone closer to his chest he glared at the wall, trying to admit his defeat. It seemed like he had been doing exactly that for the past three years because usually his opinion wasn't requested and he had been fine with that, he really was. Now not so much because he had nowhere to go without being tracked and at this moment it scared him so much because he was pregnant and he was scared because had you seen Harry???

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Harry was not a parenting type of person. He hated kids and the talk about kids had never happened before (for a reason). It's only natural that Louis was scared of what he will be asked to do. Even very early into the pregnancy, he knew that he wanted a baby, he was not ready to accept the demand Harry will make. If Harry was to find out, he might not even ask and Louis had enough talks about knowing who he was married to, he already had to give up so damn much to know that if this all became known to his husband he was going to lose his baby.

*

Harry stood in the hallway, the never disappearing glare directed at Louis. For a second, Louis doubted if Harry should even be allowed to cross the entrance into the primary school, where so many kids were happy. Someone so dark and angry could make serious damage to their happy smiles.

Once the last child with waved Louis goodbye and left a classroom with a smile, Louis turned to Harry, who must have been standing there for quite a while, knowing him probably for twenty minutes.

"You know I’m busy, I can’t come running each time something’s wrong.” Harry didn’t bother saying hello, why would he. He was here to scold Louis, not to comfort him (as if Louis should have expected something else).

Louis hated how Harry made it sound. He had to be thankful that Harry came here? Harry’s presence was the last thing he wanted and still, Harry made Louis feel like he should be thankful Harry's here.

"Believe me, I'd much rather you didn't come running or didn't come at all. I couldn't care less how you got there." Ignoring the intense glare, Louis shut the door behind Harry's back in case they would be about to argue. It was awkward enough to walk around, parading in expensive shit, Harry insisted on him having. It didn't take a lot to be noticed in the primary school, causing a scene among teachers. Some of them liked gossiping way too much.

Turning over Louis jumped startled, he didn't expect Harry to end up this close to him. Their bodies were almost touching and such intimacy was not very common for them. Plus, the darkness in Harry’s eyes was enough of a message, indicating Louis that he was pissed.

"Think before you talk, omega." Harry smiled threateningly and Louis tensed at the last word.

Omega was such a disgusting word to Louis because his inner omega always whined at that and requested for some closeness from the alpha. To be honest, Louis' omega was a whiny little bitch, however, was there something else to be expected when your alpha was a cold-hearted asshole? Probably not but that didn’t mean Louis had to hate it any less.

Ever since he was young, his omega was quite strong. He presented early, earlier than he should have, it had happened right in the middle of his growth spurt, leaving him pathetically short and very hormonal with very tough heats and all traits of Omega, which was why leaving Harry behind was not a possible choice to make, Louis tried and it had resulted in pain.

However now, that he was pregnant, leaving was not a choice, it was a necessity and there was a pang in his chest at the thought of it. His omega howled, making Louis flinch. Harry raised his brow slightly worried because Harry did worry, or maybe not him but his alpha. Usually, whenever Louis was in distress, he was able to hide it, Harry rarely reacted to the signals and was excellent at blocking them out. Louis never had any signals from him and had no idea if Harry shielded himself or if he hadn't had any feelings. Scientifically, the first one was not very possible so probably the second.

“For God's sake," Harry huffed, showing he displease and Louis had uncontrollable shiver rolling down his body, unpleasant one that made his inner organs feel cold and he trembled, against his own will. He froze, taken by surprise, this new thing was new and he had no control over it; he stared at Harry in horror as he had no idea why suddenly he was shaking like some maniac. Harry looked like he couldn’t be less bothered but the situation clearly was unpleasant because at this point his alpha should be trying howling in distress too. “Would it hurt you to elaborate?”

"It's nothing, hard day, is all," Louis mumbled, turning away to gather his things.

“Great! Then I hope you won’t mind joining me this evening.” Harry’s voice was mocking him, clearly was. It was that tone constantly there to remind Louis, who was in charge and who was the one deciding everything for Louis.

*

Joining Harry meant club. An expensive one, may Louis add. Or probably a party that was a private one, gathering some kind of VIP people – he never really knew the difference. Not that he tried to understand it too. He obediently followed Harry anywhere he was dragged because let’s be honest, it’s not like he had a say in it so he just accepted his fate.

At least they always had a private booth and a spot for Louis to sit calmly, waiting for this all to end. Sometimes he even brought his tablet or computer and planned his next day's lessons because a) it was not like anyone cared what he did the previous night, he was a teacher, he had to come prepared, and b) Harry never bothered to understand that next day Louis had lessons so he shouldn't return home about three a.m., so… Yeah, that's how Louis spent the evenings, when he much rather would snuggle on the couch with a cup of tea and calm his nerves but instead he had to go here and then sleep after work and it was so unhealthy though he couldn't change it, he had no one to talk to about it, so he just rolled with it.

Don't get him wrong – he really did know who Harry was when he signed up for this. Before courting, it was stated clearly that Louis was the one to choose, Harry gave him insight of what he was signing up for. He brought Louis to clubs like this, he took him to fancy restaurants, he showed how rough the sex with him was and how he was not considerate of Louis' needs, that couldn’t be covered by money.

It was a clear statement that Louis knew what he was choosing so he never really felt sorrow for the turn of events this late at night, however, he hadn’t calculated the risk of getting pregnant. Pregnancy hadn’t even crossed his mind back then because now, sitting in this shitty booth with loud music, irritating his nerves and causing headache, he knew that he was so so screwed.

The end of the world was coming and the only life that was about to be ruined was Louis’. Harry will force him to give up the child and will find the most barbaric way to punish Louis for being so careless and Louis was powerless - he knew that he depended on Harry.

Even if he was disgusted with himself afterward – Harry was like a drug for his traitorous body. The way Louis was currently being dragged from the club into the backseat of the car, Harry's lips attacking his, was the greatest proof.

Louis didn't even bother to push him away by now. If anything, the long years of practice proved that it was better to give in without a fight. At the end of the day, he would be the one giving up and the more he fought beforehand, the more humiliated he felt afterward.

Few times he had wondered if he were to actually push Harry away, would he go on Louis by force and the answer was – he had no idea but wasn't very keen to find out. It wasn't as if Harry was gentle in the first place. He never paid attention to the stinging in Louis' bum nor had he provided him with aftercare. At least not the type you would expect and blush at. Yes, he always made sure Louis was showered, fed and hydrated during heats but those romantic stories about soft kisses, cuddles, and massages? Yeah, massages Louis' ass – once the heat was over it was always clear that Louis was to get back to his bedroom same as after times when they had sex.

In the beginning, Louis wondered if Harry had others he screwed with. It would be a good explanation, answering questions as to where Harry fucked off in those clubs, what he did during those days when Louis didn't see him. But then again, according to soulmates thing, it was impossible. Though Louis wished it was. It would have saved him so much humiliation and degradation he had to go through.

You see, he never was the one to initiate physical anything, unless it was his heat; to him the vulnerability he showed during the intercourse was so embarrassing – he was at complete mercy of Harry and he hated how his mind became clouded by the arousal, which is why he tried so hard to avoid it, just that he couldn't really say a no to Harry’s charms. His omega would always win him over and that would be the end of his small spectacle of resistance.

The current situation Louis was in, perfectly fitted the description as Louis would rather sleep and hate his mate but no, his omega was purring in pleasure as he spread his legs, allowing Harry to pull him in his lap while they kept kissing.

He already knew that tomorrow he will be embarrassed, that the driver had to see this but right now, turning Harry off would cause him even worse outcome and Louis knew that sometimes such things as tenderness and sweetness didn't come. What was he even talking about? Sometimes even such thing as opening Louis didn't come since Harry was extremely needy (and rough) so Louis would rely only on his self-lubrication that was embarrassingly excessive when it came to them having sex.

Faster than he was able to comprehend it, Louis was being dragged from the car and into the house, he still didn't come in terms to call it home. It just wasn't home. Or well his chambers to him meant home but not the house. The place was too big, including eight bedrooms and reminded him more of an outrageous mansion rather than a homey place, he could consider home. Plus, there were never-ending rows of people coming in and out in this house. Louis never really knew any of them, it felt as if he was back in University, sharing the place with a bunch of flatmates just that now his room was ten times bigger compared to his last apartment and consisted of a bedroom, bathroom, office, small living room, patio and closet room.

Harry snarled his teeth at him for moving too slowly and dragged Louis deeper into the house, closing front door with a bang, most probably waking up their concierge, maid and some other people that could be staying the night.

Louis only sighed; in the beginning he felt bad found it hard to face others in the morning and opted for flying out of the house, before anyone was awake but as the time passed by he just accepted the inevitable - Harry could come up to him even in the hallway as the alpha clearly had been lacking feelings such as consideration and embarrassment (or understanding Louis) but that’s something alpha didn’t even try so let’s cross that out.

“Want you.” Harry groaned again, pushing Louis into his bedroom, which had Louis stumbling and he grabbed Harry’s biceps to hold himself up, moaning at the pleasure of relying on his alpha.

At this point, it was too cloudy for Louis to pretend he didn't want this and with no hesitation he attacked Harry's lips with force, almost pushing them both to fall that made Harry drag him into the bed quickly and very eagerly.

*

Louis body felt heavy. Not more as always after such session, but tonight he found it extremely hard to get out of Harry’s bed and pad across the hall into his own room, which was why for the past fifteen minutes he had been trying to fight his laziness and tiredness so he could bring himself up. At least he could want to pee - it would definitely force him out of bed at some point but this was not the case tonight.

Also, today morning, was a workday and he had an alarm clock for six in the morning, which was an hour from now. If he didn’t move now, he will have a very pissed off Harry one hour later, throwing his pillow at Louis and being a prick for the rest of the day or even better – a week. Plus, staying meant really awkward morning so finally, he gathered himself and forced his body up, grabbing his underpants, pulling them on before gathering his phone, wallet and then going back to his own bed.

Omega whined. It brought Louis from his slumber into wide awake mode as he almost whined, not able to control it. This hasn’t happened before and Louis shivered in clear distress, hiding his face into the pillow.

The wave of sadness wasn't new – his omega was never too happy to leave Harry's bed, he knew that alpha in Harry had the same issue. It was clear by how close to each other they would be if Louis stayed the night but it was never this bad. The distress of this level happened rarely – when Louis was in heat and Harry wasn't around. This was the second time today but as the first one was caused by the shocking news, this one was completely different and stronger.

Holding his breath Louis waited for the door to open and once it didn't happen he breathed out feeling relief, only to be shaken up again by another signal from his omega and by now Louis was pissed so he simply ignored the feeling locking it up.

Most of the times he found it hard to block his feelings. Clearly, he was the vulnerable one in this relationship and omegas were known to be those, who signaled their mates when in distress. Alphas had this too but only very insignificantly compared to omegas. Especially if alpha was emotionless.

Twice was enough to force Harry out of bed as the door's creaked open and a few moments later there was hand on Louis' shoulder. The touch was soft and tender, slightly stroking the line from Louis' neck to shoulder and he found himself calming down, slowly but surely drifting to sleep.

*

Louis had been dragged to the club each night ever since that evening in bed when Harry had to come into his room to soothe him.

He knew this was alpha’s form of revenge and Louis made sure Harry knew how much hatred was pointed towards him. He shot daggers at Harry every time he saw him and refused to eat together, which pissed Harry off even more. Good thing the fucker also had duties, such as working and being the boss of that stupid company, so Louis was left alone for most of the day, until his excuse of a husband would enter house around ten in the evening, announcing Louis the 'happy news' of them going out.

Don't get him wrong – he hated Harry for that, he even tried his best to push him away once he came up to Louis to demand an intercourse. On the other hand, many hours doing nothing in club meant more time for Louis to think and plan what he was going to do. Days passed by and Louis understood basic math well enough to apprehend that he was about three months, most probably about twelve weeks pregnant. No one had noticed yet but he had about a month before he really had to leave and never look back.

His latest accomplishment was making sure Harry had no doubts and no suspicions – ever since that outburst in school and then in his room, Louis managed to keep his omega tamed the best he could. Of course, Louis being shitless scared didn't help as the normal outcome was for his omega to be restless and search for alpha's calming assurance, however, to his luck (for the first time in his life, really) Harry was too busy.

Louis never snooped and never asked; he didn't even have to, he was smart enough to notice signs, including people around the house that talked and argued. Even Harry had flipped a couple of times, causing a popcorn-worthy scene in the dining room, punching one guy (the fact that Louis found it amusing and not terrifying shows exactly why he could not bring a child into this home). So basically, Harry had difficulties at work, operating from his office every day and Louis knew that whenever Harry had troubles he worked a lot, his alpha senses would go off, which was exactly what Louis needed right now, whilst trying to come up with a plan.

The dilemma was – Harry had eyes everywhere. Maybe not in North Korea, but Louis wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Harry's people were infiltrated there too. With that in hand, there wasn't much he could do. He knew he was being tracked so he was yet to think of the best escape plan but even then, he was scared shitless of people finding him. He couldn’t use anything that required his passport or ID - he would be tracked down. He couldn’t use his card, he had no cash and the maximum he could take out at once was £1000 and that wasn’t a lot, especially knowing that it would take him at least a month to find another income.

His best solution so far was either travel somewhere else in Europe by bus and hope his passport won't be checked or manage to get Harry to bring him to the USA and then go somewhere by bus. Neither of these sounded possible and Louis was getting anxious, the realization that he might have to take drastic measures to try fooling Harry and fooling Harry was obstinate. Particularly when you were alone in front of series of trained and smart people, working with all kinds of illegal stuff.

Louis had been too paranoid to even Google at home so he did that hiding from everyone in school's library and apparently it's impossible to disappear without a trace in the 21st century. It was obvious that there was nothing he could do as all it would take them was just to view security cameras and then he would be screwed. Harry would definitely drag him into the hospital before Louis had a say in it but there was hope. There was hope that Louis would be too far into pregnancy to be forced abortion, which didn't seem possible because Harry had no morals and getting someone to perform a late-term abortion on Louis was a choice.

However, Louis prayed Harry wouldn’t kill the born child. Maybe he could convince Harry that the baby was beautiful and it was theirs, maybe he could beg Harry for mercy and he would let Louis and the child go or maybe he could beg Harry to find a family for Louis’ child, a good one.

The thing was, Louis didn't need the remaining six months to be hiding because the thing about male pregnancy and about soulmates pregnancy was that the omega was not capable of carrying full term without the help of an alpha.

This had been another thing Louis never heard of, this was why his omega acted the way it did; once the mind was conscious of the pregnancy, omega simply relied on alpha and if it so happened that the omega was left alone, it simply couldn't carry it to the full term due to massive distress that caused severe anxiety, depression, and all other problems, leave alone putting the child in distress and making long-lasting emotional damage, but Louis just saw few guys snorting cocaine on his way back from the toilet so it was pretty obvious that he was doing the right thing even if he and his omega were scared shitless.

Also, Harry’s passive aggressive behavior didn’t help to say the least and even though Louis knew this was Harry expressing his annoyance towards Louis for not opening up about what made him so paranoid he was getting tired of this.

As pregnancy wasn’t the perfect one, Louis suffered a lot from not being close enough to his alpha. Normally, this, of course, wouldn’t be an issue, but as he was part of the minority who had found its soulmate, his body, and his omega was adjusting to the situation and requiring Harry's presence was part of it. The more Louis denied it, the worse it got. Especially when his omega had so much control over Louis and it was about time he started nesting or at least first signs of it had to appear and Louis ignored them.

Whenever Louis felt like he was reaching out to Harry’s closet to grab his sweater or different clothing item, he would stop himself and turn over his heel walking out of Harry’s chambers, ignoring the painful pounding of his heart and the desperation that was weighing his body more and more each day.

The result, of course, was all the difficulties, like morning sickness, heart rate speeding up out of nowhere and by far the worst – lack of attraction to physical trivialities, because something that Louis used to love and want (as much as he hated to admit it, he really did enjoy sex), was now something that felt appalling, disgusting almost and Harry definitely felt the lack of lubrication and attraction, which added up to the list of reasons why Harry should be an asshole to him.

“Dance with me.”

Louis jumped in surprise, scared shitless by Harry's voice of so close to his ear. Alpha's voice was full of determination, clearly demanding Louis to leave all his work here and go do exactly what he was asked, which was unexpected because they had been together long enough for them both to know that no matter what, Louis didn’t allow Harry to push him around.

Yeah, he didn’t have a say in a lot of things but he kept his things to himself, he maintained a life without Harry in it, he had friends, he had a job and he had his own things to do. And especially now, with Harry being a prick and disrespecting Louis, exhaustion caused by endless evenings in the parties and his lack of want to have sex, there was no way he could come up to Louis and demand a dance.

"The last thing I want to do right now is to dance," Louis replied calmly as if he was unbothered by Harry's breath hitting his neck, making him shiver.

The reply didn't take Harry by surprise, Louis knew that. Harry probably came for a fight rather than a dance or maybe it was his way of being nice to Louis. "I don't see why you would think you are in a position to deny my request but nevertheless, let me inform you, that I wasn't asking." Definitely the first one then, Louis thought, turning his head slightly to the right, facing Harry.

He wasn’t drunk and he wasn’t high, Louis could tell this by how intensely Harry’s green eyes were following each Louis movement.

"I don't see why you would think that I will comply with your demand when I am clearly not interested in dancing. Not with you, not with anyone else."

Louis knew this was Harry's aim for him to act out like this when green eyes darkened and a smirk appeared on his face. Of course, Harry attacked with expectation for Louis to stand up for himself, Harry was here for a fight and he knew Louis would be pissed enough not to ignore him.

Smart move just that the outcome was, as always, a mystery and Louis was way too tired for a fight now. Apparently, Harry wasn't as he grabbed Louis by the bicep, quite roughly, may he add, and Louis huffed, putting a hand on Harry's chest, trying to pull away or at least keep the distance.

“Respect me or I’ll make you.” Harry threatened, voice low, a familiar glare dedicated just for Louis, meaning the hatred and anger.

“Make me?” Louis snorted, ignoring the stinging, caused by Harry’s hand wrapped around his bicep. “You had been dragging me into the clubs for weeks and you are, what, shocked I don’t want to be anywhere near you? Don’t play the macho on me, Harry. I don’t have to and I won’t be showing any respect unless I get something in return. But by all means, don’t feel chained and go find someone who will play your little games because apparently you are forgetting that I also have a job and that I, differently from you, am not the one able to sleep as long as I want because my alarm clock goes off at six every morning."

Ten minutes later Louis was sitting in a backseat, looking over the window, Harry on the other side of the backseat, trying to keep the distance. It was awkward but Louis was way too tired and there was dead silence in the car and the heating was on so he was comfortable, plus Harry’s smell lingered in the car, calming Louis nerves as he started drifting away to sleep.

He woke up feeling Harry’s chest pressing into his body as he was carried upstairs into his bedroom, placed slowly in his own bed and he whined before stopping himself from it - he didn’t want Harry to let him go.

For a moment Harry’s hands froze and Louis thought he would actually stay but then Harry was undoing Louis’ belt undressing him, wrapping him in a blanket and that was enough for him to calm down again even if he knew that Harry won’t stay.

Right before leaving Harry kneeled in front of him, Louis wouldn’t even have paid attention if not that glimpse of guilt in Harry’s eyes. “You were right,” He started off slowly and Louis blinked, hardly keeping himself from falling asleep. “I owe you an apology.”

Instead of saying something Louis reached out to touch his husband's sharp jawline, tracing it to his lips and lightly brushing his fingers against the soft skin. Harry accepted it as a sign of mutual agreement that he was forgiven and leaned closer to his Louis’ forehead. Louis snuggled closer to him and huffed happily as Harry’s tender fingers started massaging his scalp.

Next morning Harry was nowhere to be seen.

A guy in the kitchen, who had offered Louis some scrambled eggs, informed him that Harry had to leave for a couple of days and Louis attacked Harry with phone calls until Harry got fed up with it and texted him that he was in the USA and will be back in three days. Louis knew that this meant two things – a) there was something really wrong with Harry's job and the problem was bigger than Louis thought, if it forced Harry to fly across the ocean on such a short notice, which b) Harry had no time to track Louis and this was his chance to escape.

Louis had to call in sick as for the rest of the day he kept vomiting, too exhausted to actually move as fear crept into his bones - he knew he didn't have guts to leave. He was an idiot that liked to pretend he gave no fucks about Harry and his role in Louis' life but he actually did. They had date nights and they traveled together and Louis always knew that Harry would come running if something was happening and even if they weren't what you would call a normal couple, not even in the slightest, Louis still loved him.

He loved how Harry would take care of him, he loved how he would show up when Louis would express his distress. Harry always had Louis in mind and he apologized for being an ass and dismissing Louis well-being when he did so. Louis couldn’t leave.

Louis couldn’t leave and he even had no idea if the baby was okay, if it was alive, it's not like he could go and visit a doctor and now he had to leave Harry because he was pregnant and he could feel it, it was only matter of time until others would see it. His stomach wasn’t how it used to be and Louis could touch a slight bump or at least he recognized what the slight bump was and he had been sobbing so hard knowing that he won’t give up on his child just to mind his own needs and that left him broken.

The worst part of it all was that right now there was nothing else he wanted but Harry and only Harry. He would be taken care of immediately – put in bed, a cup of tea and doctor already coming and Harry would spend a night with no sleep unless he was sure Louis wasn't sick. But even if Louis wanted that, he couldn't have it.

Louis wasn’t stupid he had heard stories of how Harry had gotten some chicks pregnant, which was no surprise. Harry wasn’t very thoughtful in a moment of heat, which what got Louis on suppressants in the first place. However, the fact that the destiny of his was clear and obvious made Louis think about running. It wasn't a possibility, like how far could he go with £1000 and no passport? Best case scenario he got himself to twenty-six weeks and went into premature labor, which was going to happen anyways but the nearer Louis was to seventh-month mark, the bigger chances were for the baby to survive.

It would be about ten weeks from now and Louis could find a knock off apartment that could get him through and then some food to survive. He had it under control, he hoped he did. If not he could find some stupid job that didn’t require ID and wasn’t legal but saved him some cash.

He was walking on a thin ice. Hell, he was walking on a thin ice in early May and he already felt the ice cracking but he had no other choice. There was still one moment, reminding him that this was really the only way.

He found out about it completely by accident or well not exactly an accident. Before all these guards and drivers thing, Louis was actually capable of ignoring that part of his new lifestyle and kept going to job completely alone, until one day there was a woman walking into the classroom, her eyes watery, clearly shaken.

Being the primary school teacher, Louis assumed that she was just another woman that could not find her child, things like that happened way too often - the kid would go to the playground and some parents didn’t know school grounds well enough. Patiently he went through the normal procedure of consoling her, giving a glass of water and asking questions of what she needed to find, telling that kids got lost quite often and her child should be somewhere in the school.

"It's gone, my child is gone, he made it disappear, he forced me to." The woman sobbed violently - Louis remembers being shocked by such an emotional baggage. "He will make you do the same thing. He made me. He found out and he wasn't happy, he's never happy. I'm not the only one."

Louis doesn't recall what he said to her, he remembers he asked her to breathe, offered to calm down, believing she was in shock. Even up to this day, he couldn't remember what he said but he remembers every word she said so clearly.

“Listen to me! Listen. Don’t get carried away, it’s a trap. You must like kids, you’re a teacher.” And she wasn’t wrong, Louis loved kids, adored them. He loved his job and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. “You can’t get pregnant, he’ll destroy you. He does this to everyone, he’ll rip it out of you it’ll hurt forever, he’ll use you, he’ll kill the baby. He killed mine! He killed mine!”

Louis had no time to ask questions. Harry and few safeguards burst through the door and dragged the girl away, which was enough of confirmation for Louis. He saw it with his own eyes how she was pushed into the truck and taken away. Harry never spoke about it though he made sure there was someone keeping an eye on Louis.

But even if Harry never talked about it there were people in the house, people who heard what happened, people who talked. The name of that woman was Amelia and she was Harry's girlfriend for a couple of months until she actually got pregnant and had a miscarriage after which she had gone mad and was locked into the madhouse. That's where she was taken again after Harry found her in Louis classroom.

She was the third one out of three cases and the pattern was always the same – sudden miscarriage then hospitalization after which one was moved across the world, the other killed herself and Louis didn’t know how Amelia ended up. But he knew that he didn’t want to be foolish like them. He wanted to escape before it was too late no matter how much it hurt.

He just knew he wouldn’t be able to live happily if he had to give his own child away, he would never forgive himself for not fighting. Taking a deep breath he ignored his churning insides and forced himself up.

If he left tonight the chances to be unnoticed were bigger. Everyone was informed of Louis being sick and that he asked no one to bother him for the next few days. The only issue was for him to get out unnoticed by the guards or at least unrecognized. He couldn't go alone for sure, he had to find a way to hide and he knew maids had their shifts around two in the morning and they had cars in the garage. If he was smart enough he could sneak into the backseat and hide there. There weren't any cameras until you reached the parking but the backdoor parking had only two cameras and Louis knew how to be sneaky enough to miss them. He had been observing for about a few weeks now.

And with that, he knew he had a plan and a whole day to get ready. If you think that's a lot then you're highly mistaken. Running away for three months (or as long as he succeeded) with almost no cash was a shitty situation and Louis packed himself a bunch of socks, briefs, few shirts, jeans, leaving the warmest and comfiest clothes to put on before leaving. He also added few Rolex watches and few really expensive rings Harry owned because he could always sell them. Funny because Louis wasn’t actually sure he could this was only a thing he saw in gangster movies but he felt safer having something expensive.

He still was doubtful if it will work out but his main idea now was to make money, buy a ticket to Brighton but head to Scotland because he was in fear of using any ID and he wanted to confuse people coming his way.

Harry called in the afternoon, which usually Louis would scowl at and pretend to be interrupted but this time he was eager to hear Harry’s voice, eager to talk to him. It was the last time until he had no idea when and Louis was running out of time to afford pretending displeased with Harry’s call.

So he picked up, taking deep breaths to not break down during the conversation.

"Louis, the news reached me that you are sick." This was Harry's version of greeting and Louis rolled his eyes, pleasantries had never been Harry's strong side.

"I am," Louis nodded, picking at the sleeve of Harry's sweater he was wearing. "To your joy, I'll spend next few days at home." Lie. Louis was lying to his soulmate and he felt wrong. The words were wrong and he scrunched his nose in disgust. What had to be done had to be done, he was being dramatic but he couldn't help it.

"Good, you need rest." Louis could picture Harry, face serious, looking into the distance or probably through the window of a moving car, no emotion in his eyes. "It had been my sin to tire you out and now you have to pay for the consequences, I owe you an apology."

Louis smiled, typical Harry. Emotion or lack of it in his eyes, he still cared for Louis, he always did.

"You said that last night," Louis reminded him, the words lingered in his mind and he allowed himself to be sour. Harry's sudden departure was not on time. "I remember you saying this and then in the morning you were gone.”

There was a pause until Harry's raspy voice carried out a sincere truth. "Unfortunately I cannot always be in a position to manipulate the turn of events, this wasn't planned. You would have known if it had been."

"You would have taken me with you," Louis concluded, remembering the times when he was asked to join Harry on those trips.

"Exactly," Harry replied. Louis felt conversation going to an end and he jumped to fill the silence in just to get few more minutes with Harry.

"I took your sweater." He mumbled out of nowhere, admitting shamefully as he rather Harry would not know about it. "And I took a nap in your bed." Hot wave traveled up his body, tinting his cheeks with crimson red blush.

“You did?” Harry sounded amused but surprised none the less.

“Yeah…” Louis trailed off, lying back down in Harry’s bed. If he was putting himself out there at least he could do it to the fullest, there was no point denying this now after he already admitted it. “In fact, I’m about to take another nap in here.” He moaned, nuzzling his face into the pillow that smelled like Harry’s cologne and shower gel. “Smells like you.”

“My precious omega, your words are putting me into a frenzy, I must admit that." Louis giggled. There was no way to actually tell when Harry was carrying on with conversation or flirting and Louis found it hilarious. "But you also know who I am and what my job is." And there it was. The reminder.

“I know.” Louis blinked, whispering the words because he was sad.

“I give you my word that I’ll be in a rush to return to you and treat you with attention.” Harry never promised Louis what he couldn’t do it. He was a man of his word but this time he was wrong because when he’ll return, Louis won’t be here anymore.

“You’ll take care of me?” Salty tears started streaming down Louis’ face and he bit his trembling bottom lip to swallow the sob.

“I’ll take care of you and I’ll ask your forgiveness for my ignorant attitude, I’ll kneel in front of you, asking for forgiveness. You must know that you should never be treated this faulty and I’m not making myself proud with my actions but you should always know that I cherish you, omega.” Louis whimpered. There wasn’t a lot he could do to keep him from it, not when Harry made promise after promise to care for him.

“Can I be allowed to invade your closet for another sweater?” Harry on the other line chuckled, Louis knew that this meant he was smiling. Not grinning but a soft smile must be visible on his usually dark face and emerald green irises had to be sparkling.

“You’re allowed to invade my closet, I adjust to your needs.”

"Okay." Louis trembled, not able to keep away the tears. They were streaming down his face. He was wounded when he had no time to be. He had to be a fighter and he had to pick between two, which meant he had to turn a blind eye to his soul, to his omega and follow his maternal instincts. He was truly sorry but he had to.

“Rest, omega, and I’ll see you in a few days, I promise.” Louis knew this was the last call until Harry’s return and he heard the line go silent, shutting his eyes close, hoping that his ears could not hear it was already over.

"I love you," Louis mumbled to the dead line and sobbed into the pillow that always carried the weight of Harry's head during the night. It smelt of him, Louis breathed in to calm down.

He did love, Harry.

Even with his faults, he loved him because Harry was there when Louis needed. Not always the way he should but always the best way he knew and Louis loved him for that.

He lied in there reminiscing about their dates – there were so many of them. Harry made sure to treat Louis with respect – he was a gentleman after all – taking Louis to the finest eating establishments, to the theatre, joining Louis for walks in the park. Harry proposed him right after Louis informed he was choosing life with him. It wasn't much of a surprise for Louis and it wasn't much of a proposal.

They were in Louis' previous studio apartment having dinner – lasagna that they had been cooking that evening. It was as romantic as it could get. They were sitting on a couch, eating and there was a movie Louis wanted to see on TV.

"I decided to be with you," Louis told him and Harry looked up, face serious not a scowl but definitely not a smile either. "I weighed my options and I think that it would be healthier for me not to deny fate."

Harry nodded. “Good, because I’ve bought you a wedding ring.”

Louis would have chocked if he were to have a bite in his mouth but luckily he didn’t so his eyes just popped out, comically wide. “Do you have it here?”

“Yes, in my coat. I’ll give it to you after our meal.” And he did. He gave Louis a platinum ring, knowing Harry it was probably with diamonds, however, he didn't splurge on an engagement ring, which didn't surprise Louis at all.

The wedding followed after that, to Louis greatest joy Harry did comply to all his needs and whines – he went to cake tasting together, he joined Louis to pick flowers and Louis up to this day had doubts if it was only because Louis asked him to because Harry looked like he was happy to join him. There also had been many people Louis had never seen invited but he loved it nonetheless. They didn’t exchange vows because Harry would have said something similar to ‘you’re my soulmate and you chose me’ and to be honest, Louis would have said something vaguely similar to that so they spared some time.

And then they flew to honeymoon for the five weeks during Louis' summer holidays and traveled a lot, which was, once again, Louis request. He wanted to explore Italy and so they stayed there for two weeks, then they traveled to Canada, USA and finally to a private Island where they did a lot of sex and a lot of swimming.

After marriage life didn’t change. Louis moved to his personalized chambers and still saw his husband occasionally. They had sex just as often and they fought just as often, so nothing really changed and Louis was still taken care of, he was still happy. And for that, he was now heartbroken.

But there was no time for sadness. None. Life was about choices and Louis had to suck it up to get out of here for his child. He loved kids, he was a teacher for god’s sake so there was no denying that he was excited to be a parent.

He knew what he was signing up with this, a misery that’s about to come but he was ready to go through this for his child and he will. Stubbornly he rubbed his face, pushing away the tears and standing up from his bed. There was a lot of packing to be done, he couldn’t afford crying right now and he couldn’t afford it anytime soon. He had to be strong for his child and he will be.

The house was calmest after the midnight. And Louis snuck out at that hour, making sure he had gone unnoticed. He left bathroom door locked of his and Harry's rooms for others to think he was showering and he also caused a marvelous scene today with the maid coming into his room when he was sick. He was certain no one will check for him for at least bigger part of tomorrow.

He found a car to hide in easily, it was harder to stay in place for more than two hours but he managed and once he knew he was moving he breathed in relief. Maid had been quite dumb, Louis had too many slip-ups with coughing, breathing and he was quite visible in general but the idiot had not noticed and she also gave Louis a golden ticket to freedom.

She stopped at the gas station, going inside without a wallet. Louis used this to his own advantage and grabbed the wallet before taking his backpack and sprinting away. Chances he was not caught on camera were low but he hoped for others to mistake him for thief rather than Louis Tomlinson. He had been wearing a snapback and a hoodie after all.

Running away the fastest he could Louis looked around, taking in his surroundings. He knew where he was. It was far enough from the mansion, about half an hour drive and Louis groaned, stretching his stiff body before moving forward. It was late and he relied on that nap he had taken during the day because he hadn't been quite sure how long he will have to stay awake. In the moment of heat, he had adrenaline pumping in his blood but it will wear off.

Funny though, he thought running away will feel more dramatic, something similar to those action movies he liked to watch but no, it didn’t. On the contrary, it felt plain… There wasn’t a magical feeling pushing him forward, there was more apathy in this then push forward and Louis thought about all those movies, who were often based on true events, thinking how fake movies industry make it look.

Seeing a bench Louis stopped to take a seat and look through the wallet. He opened it, smiling at the condiments. There was some cash. Not that much but a lot more than normal human being should be having, which made Louis think if there was any way this girl could have stolen something from them. If she did then Louis will skin her alive because he loved the antiques in the house. But then again, he had been awarded £500 so he was not minding it. He was actually trying not to squeal, he was feeling so lucky now.

The ID was worthless, same as anything else but few gift cards, which Louis was so damn thankful to find. He was about to have a feast in Starbucks and he thanked faith for this.

“Hey!” Suddenly Louis jumped from his place, frozen and scared. The horror of him being chased was back and he felt sick at the thought of being dragged back home. If that’s where his journey ended then Harry would skin him alive. This time he would really punch Louis or maybe even worse. “What ya have ‘ere, kid?”

Louis let out a breath of relief, it was only a homeless man. Threateningly looking homeless man that Louis could punch if attacked.

"None of your business, pal, get lost," Louis replied, lifting his chin. He may not be the tallest but he had his fair share of fights. Being the stubborn omega that he was he often had attacked some drunk alpha or just caused a scene where he needed to defend himself.

Up to this day, some idiots thought of omegas as the ones who were incapable of defending themselves – especially if it was male omega with woman alpha or male omega in general – Louis lived to kill this stereotype and bury it under the ground.

“I see you got some things, gimme.” The homeless man demanded and Louis saw silver reflecting in a dim light, the guy had a knife. That was funny because Louis was no fool. He had a knife too, couple knives actually though he doubted he will put them to use right now.

“Mate, you really do not wish to attack, believe me.” Louis smiled and jumped in surprise when the man in front of him launched forwards, aiming at Louis’ hand. With no hesitation Louis reached out and punched the guy, not holding back.

It was only ten minutes later when he was running away he realized two things – he punched a homeless man, a man that might not survive this night for all Louis knew and now he was also a thief. First, he stole pounds from that maid and then he got through the man pockets, where he found the fake ID of some guy. It was old and blurry and not similar to Louis' features at all but it was proper enough to snatch him a bus ticket.

London – Leeds

Departure time: 7:00

Trip length: 4h 45min

One way ticket

Purchased by Erikkson Aaron

By the time Louis reached bus station, purchased a ticket and got into the bus it was very late, he was exhausted, hungry and adrenaline was no longer supporting him so needless to say he almost squealed once he got a seat.

He bought the closest ride that headed north and not south as the ticket he bought with his ID was from a different bus station to Brighton. Harry knew Louis liked Brighton, what's more, he loved France, hopefully, Harry will think he fucked off to France.

In the meantime, Louis slept, using his backpack as a pillow and wisely avoiding the camera in front of a bus. He had no idea if he was doing it correctly but he was keeping his head down just in case. Luckily his stomach was not putting on a show and his omega was too scared to whine or maybe realized the problem and kept shut.

It was only a question of time until Louis will feel a lot worse, being away from your soulmate during pregnancy was not advisable to say at least. There had to be a connection between two and the only connection Louis had were two Harry’s sweaters and few rings.

 

There was someone touching his shoulder and Louis jumped giving himself a scare of his life.

"I'm sorry, sorry, just that we're here and you were sleeping." The girl smiled, eyes wide, clearly a bit in shock of Louis reaction.

He looked around, noticing that they actually were in a bus station and nodded, offering her a smile. "I'm a jumpy sleeper." He explained and grabbed his massive backpack following the lead out of the bus.

Once he was out he sighed, looking around feeling lost even when he shouldn’t be. There was no way of telling how much time he had until Harry will find out about his run away and Louis paranoid himself trying to pick a place where Harry will be the least likely to look.

There was no way of telling because one slip up and he will be found – knowing Louis he must have had about few slip-ups already. As if it can be avoided in the world where half of your things are monitored by the cameras and Harry is known for getting access too easily.

Later on, while munching on his Starbucks feast, he was able to afford with that stolen gift card, Louis draws himself a new plan. Next stop was Edinburgh, then he will head to smaller towns or anywhere he will find a cheap stay and will keep on migrating through places not staying anywhere longer than 3 nights.

It was already after Edinburgh when Louis was staying in an area called Aberdeenshire that he knew Harry found out. It was late. Louis was already asleep because he had definitely strained his body and needed rest, he was pulled from his sleep by sweat hitting his body in waves, there was pounding pain in his head and he felt Harry’s rage.

Heartbroken, furious, betrayed, hurt – Louis felt it all. Not like he experienced it himself but he knew Harry’s emotions and now he knew why Harry would come running when Louis was distressed. Even though the emotions weren’t his he was in such fright for Harry that if he wouldn’t know what was causing it he would go crazy. No surprise Harry would demand to know everything because that was bad.

And it wasn’t only bad for Louis emotions, no. His whole body was shaken and the flaws of pregnancy and pain of his omega came to life with such force that Louis thought he will not survive the night.

He was sweating, there was a pull, demanding to go back to Harry, forcing him to find the closest phone and call his alpha just to hear his voice. Nothing helped. Louis took the pillow and put Harry’s sweater on it pretending Harry was with him, breathing in his alpha’s scent – none of it helped. Once his body realized he was denied from his alpha that’s when Louis realized the actual meaning of torture.

His body was limp, he could feel not only himself but his baby in distress. Maybe it was just in his head but he felt the neediness to get Harry’s touch, smell, voice. There was nothing Louis could do because he had to keep going and his body denied it with whole force. He was constantly puking, weak, not able to keep anything down, he had about two to three nosebleeds per day, constantly pale. Fatigue was awful and he was always tired but couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t about money and running until he was found. No, it was about being able to actually leave the place he was staying in. Each time his body demanded to be left alone and Louis had to go against his own body.

His omega was reeling, his body was exhausted and he spent more time in bed and crying than actually being capable of doing something such as exploring or even eating.

It had been six weeks since his escape and Louis could feel Harry growing restless, even more, frustrated and he knew there was no way Harry would just give up. Knowing this was probably the only thing that kept Louis going – he had to fight and he couldn’t just call Harry because he was sad, exhausted and drained.

If he wanted a life for his child than Louis had to be strong and he shall. The fifth week had been the one where he spent it in a few villages where hosts had been nothing but sweet though they clearly must have thought Louis was a running criminal of some kind. To be honest, it was quite a surprise that there wasn't a search team and Louis' face wasn't on every news. On the other hand, it probably had been in the deep sources that weren't public. There had to be people searching for him but he really hoped they were rummaging through France and not coming anywhere near Scotland.

He was about eighteen weeks into and he needed just a little bit more, just a tiny bit and then he could convince Harry that the baby deserved life. Sometimes he wondered what Harry will do when he finds him. Most probably sent to a private island and make sure he never leaves and the thought sent Louis sobbing because he wanted to hold his child. He wanted to hold his child in his arms, keep the baby closer to his heart.

There were some beautiful dreams he had of never being found, living in a tiny little town where there's nothing to do and nothing to see. Working as a sales assistant or waited, maybe having a job at the gas station, never standing out and being able to see his child grow. To see him having birthdays, celebrating Christmas, seeing his baby going to school, graduating – those thoughts were so pure and beautiful Louis was left depressed after them.

He was sure Harry knew Louis was hurting. Or maybe not, maybe he was blinded by his own emotions and once he will see Louis he will show no mercy. Maybe Harry will make sure Louis never sees his child and never gifts him a life at all and Louis was so scared.

Worst part he was so scared on his own. He couldn’t tell anyone, no one. Even people who clearly saw his belly and clearly had questions and knew how it works well enough to put two and two together – Louis was running from a person he is destined to be with, his soulmate to save his child.

It’s on the twentieth week that it got worse than Louis thought it could. Sleep terrors, night frights or sleep paralysis – call it whatever, Louis had it. It was awful. It was so bad he would wake up at night, screaming and thrashing around, scared of everything. It took few nights for him to be kicked out from a place where he was staying for the night. It was late and it was cold.

Christmas was coming and it was freezing. It was okay if you were inside but not when you were kicked out in the middle of nowhere, having nowhere to go. Then it was fucking freezing and Louis only solution was to buy a tent and sleep outside.

He was surprised to wake up alive after that night, to be honest. It couldn't have been less than 5 degrees outside and Louis had nothing but Harry's sweater and his coat, plus sleeping bag he snatched at the gas station together with a tent. Needless to say, he woke up with a fever and it was awful.

There was no way of telling how bad it was but it didn’t take a genius to know that temperature had to be high and Louis had no idea what to do. Adrenaline wasn’t there to get him through the day – he was tired – he couldn’t sleep, hungry – he vomited everything he ate, he couldn’t go to the hospital, he had no idea what medicine he could take and he had no place to stay. It was bad.

He felt helpless and it made him cry. He sat in that fucking tent that he built at four in the morning, sobbing violently, feeling so lost and vulnerable. He was practically homeless. Just that he wasn’t, not yet at least. He had money to get him through at least a month and he knew that he could do it.

“We’ll get through this, baby.” He spoke to his stomach. Recently it’s been all he was doing most of the time. “You’ll see how beautiful it is in here and you will make mamma so happy.” Stroking his stomach Louis felt the connection between himself and his child. Swallowing his sob he breathed out, smiling to his belly. “It’s so cold in here for me but it’s so beautiful, I promise you will see how beautiful it is – winter is so beautiful. And it’s Christmas season.”

Louis felt another wave of sadness running over his body. This will be his first Christmas without his husband. It was the only time Louis liked the place he refused to call home. It was the only time it felt like home.

The house would look festive, beautiful – pine tree, Christmas tree, fairy lights, Harry and him would stay alone in that huge house, everyone away, just two of them and it felt magical. They would cook food and have Christmas to themselves, then next day family would come to visit, celebrate with them and it was beautiful, amazing, something Louis could wait for a whole year.

“You’ll love Christmas.” He nodded to his belly, tears streaming down his face. God, how much he hoped his child couldn’t feel the pain he felt. “If…” Louis breathed, knowing he was about to tell a lie. “I’ll buy you so many presents. I’ll save whole year to buy you the most beautiful toys you could ever want.” Lie. He won't see his child growing – he won't see his first steps, he won't hear his baby's laugh, maybe he won't even know the color of his child. He hoped it will be blue. Blue like his with wild curls like Harry's.

By now Louis' hands were shaking and he was afraid to move them away from his belly. He was getting close to losing this by seconds and he will not let his child go, not yet. Even if the only way he'll get to speak to his child is when he can't get a reply he will.

"We'll never buy the fake tree, I promise you. I know they say it's bad for nature but I would never." Actually, he might. Each year it depended on their staff or person that was hired to decorate the house. But Louis will not think about this. Not now. "It smells so beautiful – the real tree. They are with needles that fall everywhere and it sucks, it hurts if you touch them but it's worth it." Louis giggled, his voice shaky.

“My birthday is on Christmas too. One day earlier actually – I'm going to be twenty-seven. And then in February it's your dad's birthday, he'll be thirty-five, he's really old." Louis giggled, because Harry was old, even if his trained body begged to differ. "Your dad he's, uhm-" Louis shocked, swallowing another sob. "He's…" Tears prickled in his eyes. How could he tell his own child what his father was when he was nothing but a threat to them?

Harry was Louis soulmate, he could never hurt Louis or he couldn’t kill him at least. But he could kill their child. He most probably will unless Louis will keep them away long enough. Louis had managed to stay away for longer than he thought to be possible and he was not going to stop. No matter how much his body denied, no matter how much his own child needed a connection from alpha – Louis was not in a position to let him stop that. He heard so many stories of people, who made out such horrible things that Louis problem felt minor. And as long as he treated it as such, he had power in himself to push himself further.

Louis wasn't an optimist. It's not like he believed that out of nowhere his fever will substitute and he will be fine. No, but he didn't think to not find any place to stay for the next eight miles. He was in a town he couldn't remember the name of and he had no strength left to search even more.

He was burning and he wanted nothing but just to lie down and sleep. His body was slowly shutting down and Louis could feel it. There was nothing he could do and he admitted his defeat when he snuck into the abandoned house – it was going to be his shelter for the night and he hoped the night will be warm enough for him not to die.

He wrapped himself in the warmest clothes he found, shuddering when the day passed by and it got colder as the night approached. At least he was staying inside a half-built building. Not in an actual house but at least not a tent, which had already proved not to have immunity for the cold wind of these December nights.

The time passed by minutes and Louis felt himself drifting in and out of sleep though he wasn't sure whether that was a slumber or was he losing his consciousness from time to time. By the signs of this on and off the thing he thought it was the latter because he didn't feel anything, he didn't dream anything and restless sleep was not the luxury he had since Harry finding out he ran away.

Keeping his hands tight around the belly he breathed in and out trying to stay awake but knowing of the inevitable that's to come. He was going to die; Alone, in an abandoned house, somewhere in Scotland and it will take ages to find his body – too long for his child to survive.

Sour tears started rolling down his cheeks and Louis sniffed, thinking of how different his life could have been if he had changed his choices. If he had ignored the pull towards his soulmate, chosen not something so pleasant and at the same time toxic. But the truth is, he couldn’t have.

He cherished those moments with Harry in his heart. Even if the price of it all was death, Louis wasn't pained by it, he wasn't. He was sad because his child won't see the daylight and she deserved to. A girl. The last second before it all turning back Louis knew, he just knew, it was a girl.

*

 

“Homeless pregnant male found in the abandoned building, slow heartbeat, possibly a severe case of hypothermia, move it, people, move out of the way!" The doctor rushed everyone aside, pushing the stretched into the intensive care ward.

“Pregnant man?”

“Yes, for God’s sake are you deaf? Pulse 20! Charge!”

"He cannot be homeless if he's pregnant. Male pregnancies occur only in soulmates." Silence filled the room for a second as horror settled in in doctors and nurses faces before they all jumped into action once again.

“Get someone from pediatrics to check on the baby, now!”


	2. It all comes crashing down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, do know that I'm very happy to have made you tear up with my first chapter - it was indeed my intention.
> 
> For this chapter, we are thankful not me only but also for an amazing helper that suggested to be a beta reader for which I requested in the first chapter. She helped me to fix some (A LOT OF) errors. You can find her on Instagram @gallalarry or you can personally thank her in the comments, she's contributed to this chapter.

Louis knew exactly where he was before he opened his eyes.

All the nonsense about opening your eyes and not knowing where you are was a big pile of bullshit because Louis couldn’t mistake that awful smell of sterilization and medicine that all hospitals owned.

He also had some flashes from being half-conscious; He could remember someone finding him and trying talking to him but he couldn't recall answering, he wasn't sure if he even saw that someone or was it just his imagination, applying images to the sounds he heard, might be the second one – Louis was known for having a vivid imagination.

But still, he knew he was in a hospital and without even asking or thinking about it he knew that once he opened his eyes on his right he will see nobody else but Harry. Harry's presence was obvious to him probably sooner than his mind became conscious, that's some soulmates shit for you.

On this occasion he would have preferred to be a lot less conscious, thank you very much, but as expected he had no say in it, his body wasn't about to turn off just because Louis asked kindly. And also now, when he has sensed his mate so close, he had his omega writhing eagerly, it's a miracle Louis was able to keep his eyes closed in the first place.

He had to open his eyes.

He couldn't neglect his omega forever.

And so he did.

A White ceiling greeted him and Louis looked to his left, purposely avoiding the person on his right. It had taken Louis a few glances around the room and he already knew that Harry had a say in Louis’s accommodation – no one had a private room this spacious, especially if that someone was brought off the streets like Louis had been.

"I see you're awake." Even when he was expecting it, his cold voice hit Louis like a ton of bricks. Maybe within the gap of almost ten weeks, Louis had forgotten how he didn't have the pleasure of not rushing himself into anything. Clearly, Harry wasn't into waiting for Louis to gather himself, instead, he attacked him that very instant and in return, Louis' arms, faster than any other body part could react, went into the action as warm hands covered Louis' belly. Not without an incident, of course. His left hand was connected to needles so obviously Louis being Louis pulled them too roughly and it caused a swift movement of his fluid bag.

As the reason to hide had already vanished into the air and proved itself to be pointless, Louis breathed out, turning to Harry, facing his soulmate from whom he, so courageously, had decided to escape. Unsuccessfully. Harry's face showed a stern glare, a rough one full of furry and Louis body went limp - the glare wasn't pleasant at all.

The tension could have been called ridiculous if not Louis’s fear for his baby. The twenty-sixth week was yet to come and Louis was at Harry’s mercy much earlier than he wanted to be, which left him with almost nothing to work with. To be honest, he was surprised to find the bump still present – relieved too, which was quite understandable, who wouldn’t, right? (Harry.)

Louis gulped, scared of opening his mouth and making matters worse than they already were. Maybe Harry waited for him to wake up just to say that Louis will be forced to get rid of his baby or maybe he wanted Louis to beg for forgiveness. The latter was Louis’s plan since the beginning and he even had a speech prepared, not written down but in his mind. It was obvious from the moment he left that he will be caught, he was prepared for it, so this time he felt no shame in doing whatever was needed to get Harry to make one exception to his policy on having a baby. He was prepared for all the humiliation and degradation that was about to come his way. Right now his main goal was to keep the baby alive, not let it be given away to bad people and, if he was lucky, not become Harry's toy that could be treated as an object rather than a human.

The silence was noticeably prolonged, especially for Harry because instead of waiting for Louis to open his mouth, he jumped on his feet. The sudden action startled Louis, forcing him to start talking faster than he felt he was prepared.

“Please don’t make me do it.” He pleaded, his voice groggy, he must have been out for quite a while, his throat was itchy and he needed water but water had to wait. It was now or never.

It worked. Well, not exactly worked but Harry didn't jump on him, didn't strangle him, didn't try to pull the baby out of him or punch Louis in a stomach.

He froze.

About one meter away from Louis bed he stood frozen, looking attentively at Louis but not saying a word. He was giving Louis the stage, maybe not optionally but wondering how long Harry will listen to him was the least of Louis’s worries right now.

"Please, let me give birth, please." He pleaded, his blue eyes as wide as he could get them – Harry had a thing for his eyes. At least he used to. It could have changed in the last few months. "I promise I won't ask anything for more just please don't take it away. I'll do anything, I swear, whatever you ask – I'll do it. You can do whatever with me, I won't complain just please don't kill it. You can find your own people to give it away, I won't even fight you and I won't search, I pro-"

"Shut up." Harry cut him off, face emotionless and Louis' heart sank. They say hope dies last and so Louis was hoping to reason with Harry, he was. He dreamt about it, he dreamt of crawling on his knees, begging to find people for his child, begging for Harry not to take it away. 

He had nightmares about it, about Harry making him watch the cold and bloody body of his baby, the empty feeling never leaving Louis or Harry ripping Louis open, making him scream in pain, claiming that this was how Louis would pay for what he did. There was always an ugly ending and Louis would fight until he died for those nightmares to not become reality.

"No! No, you can't!" He screamed louder than he had intended, which had Harry ending that one meter separating them. Green eyes burned into his and Louis whole body, his omega, clenched in fear. "Please, please I do any-"

"I said stop!" Harry was losing his temper, strong hands grabbing Louis' shoulders, bringing him slightly upwards and Louis fought.

Using his whole force he grabbed Harry's forearms pushing it away, using the tiny crumbles of strength he had left. There wasn't much and he knew it but it was enough for Harry to stop pushing or screaming, instead, Harry looked at him again, green irises holding something distant and very unfamiliar to Louis.

"You can't," Louis stated his voice firm. There wasn’t hope to achieve something by pleading so he took his last option – manipulation. “Take my child away from me and I’ll kill myself.” His voice didn’t waver at all as he said that. If anything, it showed determination and power. “I don’t care if you don’t give a fuck about me, your alpha wouldn’t dare to do that.”

A second passed. Then another one and another one.

The silence lingered among them.

There was total silence and for once in the past weeks his thoughts were completely empty, he had nothing else to say.

Harry stared into the blue eyes of his mate, husband, omega, his love but he didn’t know what to say back, he didn’t know what to do.

There was no book about it that he could've read to prepare himself for this.

And Louis persisted looking into his eyes, blue irises full of determination, full of stubbornness – so familiar but at the same time so distant. His mate, his soulmate just threatened to kill himself and Harry didn’t know what to do.

Slowly he moved his hands from Louis’ skinny shoulders and took few steps back before he glanced at him one more time and turned over his heel walking the hell out of there.

He needed some time off.

He was pissed, he was sad and he needed time off before he did something unforgivable.

“Boss?” Someone, most probably the security guy, guarding the door asked. Harry motioned for him to stay away as he turned to the familiar path into the toilets, where he could lock himself away for a few seconds.

Once he did his stomach removed everything that he ate in the past 24 hours, which wasn't that much. He couldn't eat much even if he tried, his body was suffering almost equally to his mate's and the agony was excruciating.

They got a call two days ago.

By then they had already found the missing puzzle piece – they tracked Louis leaving from a different train station and Harry had every team working on that, searching all trains – they were bound to find something in the span of ten hours.

Days were mixing with nights for him – he didn’t sleep, not unless he passed out somewhere on a chair or a couch. There was no point in sleeping anyway – fright, guilt and many other emotions haunted him, eating him alive and he couldn't settle into a peaceful sleep. Not until he found Louis, not until he was holding him in his arms.

He spent his days going mad about Louis where-beings, discussing all the possible options.

At first, Harry was certain someone blackmailed Louis into doing this, into running away but as weeks passed no letter was received, no one asked for money so it was obvious that Louis did it on his own. There was no point in insisting on something else – the signals from Louis' omega and from their bond were clear. Loud pleadings mixed with pain and sadness, crushing whines of distress.

However, even the signals could not prepare him for the call he received from the hospital, from the version he was given. It had never even crossed his mind that Louis could be pregnant.

But he was.

Louis was pregnant, there was a tiny baby, growing in his belly, visible as he lied motionless in the hospital bed.

It wasn’t clear as to why Louis did what he did but at the same time Harry had no time to think about it – he sped to Scotland, driving past all the driving limits, stopping when he was in front of Louis.

Louis, who didn’t even look like Louis – skinny, pale, tired, sad and very very pregnant.

It took them about three hours to get all the info of where he had been all this time. Apparently, he stole the ID from a homeless man and spent weeks camping around Scotland while they searched for him France and other directions they could think of.

Not Edinburgh though.

Louis hated Scotland, Harry took him there once for a business trip and Louis was pissed because it was cold and Louis hated cold. And now Louis spent months in there with nothing but a few jumpers and a jacket that wasn't suitable for winter time.

In a different situation, Harry would admire the strength of his mate, the smartness, the courage – it took a lot for Louis to run. Never staying in one place for longer than a few days, living at knock-off places, rented by questionable people.

Harry growled at the thought of his omega going through what he did but instead of giving himself a few more moments, he sucked it up - he couldn't change the past.

The waves of distress coming his way were monstrous, especially now, when the bond was so sensitive and they were so close. His mate was crying, Harry could sense it but he was pissed and sad and so angry, the last thing he wanted to do was look at Louis.

Thankfully he took long enough to get himself to Louis' ward and the doctor was walking in front of him already to take care of the situation at hand.

Louis was writhing in his bed, sobbing wildly and it only grew worse as Harry stepped in.

"Don't do it! Please, please, please." He kept begging and Harry didn't know what else to do to shut him up than to use his alpha voice, silencing Louis for a couple of seconds until the medicine worked and he drifted away into a soft sleep.

Only when Louis was unconscious and the staff had left the ward had Harry allowed himself to cry. He buried his face in the crook of Louis' neck, breathing him in. As it was expected it was enough to soothe him, enough to calm him down. His omega was here now, he finally had him in his arms.

Slowly, making sure no one was watching and making sure Louis was still asleep, Harry let his hands travel down his omega's body, stopping at the belly, which was visible even covered under the covers. He gasped at the surprising feeling of a present bump, the rush of happiness filled his body and not able to control himself he leaned in to brush his nose against the bump.

*

The second time Louis woke up he didn't even think about opening his eyes, instead of looking around the room, faster than his mind could comprehend, he went for his belly, ready to scream but then he froze because it was still there.

“No one is doing anything to harm the child, Louis.” Harry’s voice cut the silence. Of course, Harry sat here, waiting for him to wake up. As if he would give another opportunity for Louis to run.

"For now," Louis argued, turning to Harry, who scowled at Louis as if he was his biggest enemy.

Harry sighed – that was his only reply and Louis felt his skin prickling in fear – was it safe to fall asleep, if you didn't know whether or not you will find yourself the way you were before once you wake up?

Harry used his alpha's voice on Louis just to shut him up and who could protect Louis now, when his main protector was the biggest predator? Harry was about to attack him and take the smallest bits of what Louis had, away from him.

Louis gasped, the memory burning his senses – Harry used alpha voice on him.

“You used your alpha voice on me.” He looked at Harry angrily.

There were many reasons as to why this shouldn't be done. It damaged the omega's senses, it caused distress and if the timing was not right it put the omega's body into a shock. This was the epitome of betrayal and Louis glared at Harry for it.

“When you don’t listen, I have to take drastic measures to make you.”

"I want you to leave," Louis demanded.

Right now he wanted Harry to be as far away from him as possible. His omega was not persistent anymore to keep Harry close as the alpha was already here and clearly, this was all affection Louis was getting, it's not like he could ask Harry to knot him or cuddle him. Also, both his Omega and Louis were pissed at Harry for using his voice, showing his position over Louis – his omega was prideful, what can he say.

"It's funny that you see yourself in command," Harry replied, voice not showing any twinge of emotion, he wasn't mocking Louis but he wasn't showing his anger too.

Perhaps it’s the weeks of deprivation from his alpha, maybe pregnancy hormones but Louis blood boiled and he wanted to throw something at Harry. Something firm, something that would hurt him.

“I said leave!” He screamed, punching blanket with his fists, clearly disturbing the work of some machines but achieving nothing else as Harry’s only reaction was a sigh.

“Stop resisting and calm down,” Harry asked instead, nicely and Louis’s omega whined at the softness or at least at the lack of frustration from his mate. “No one will harm you but you need to rest.”

Louis almost snorted. The least of his worries were someone harming him, to be honest, anyone could do anything to him, he wouldn’t even fight them. What Harry didn’t understand is that he cared about the baby.

“You will harm my baby.”

"I give you my promise that I will not," Harry argued and Louis turned away from him, trying his best to radiate hatred even if his omega was now lost, fighting between reaching out to his alpha and pushing him as far away as possible.

*

Louis had to stay in the hospital for a week.

His bed regime was mandatory and mentally draining for a few reasons, one of them – Harry never leaving his side. It wasn’t pretty, nothing like the relationships between two married people that are expecting a baby should be.

They didn't talk, they didn't acknowledge each other, Louis feared to fall asleep, grabbing to check on his belly the first thing after waking up and Harry not moving an inch, declining the much-needed privacy for Louis. He also dragged his computer here and created a mini office in Louis' ward, which was against all the policies of any hospital but it went by unnoticed, probably covered by a very generous donation to the hospital.

Neither of them was happy to be in the same place all the time – Louis was angry, pissed, sad and tired; he wanted attention, kisses, he wanted what every pregnant omega craved – to be taken care of; the feeling was so infuriating it was causing him actual pain.

Needless to say, Harry was pissed that Louis had to stay in a hospital as it meant that he couldn't fuck off to whatever club he wanted or Louis would try escaping again and he wasn't wrong, at least Louis didn't think so. Right now he was so pissed at Harry that he would run just to annoy him, just to show him that he could.

Louis' doctor wasn't nice or at least Louis didn't like her no matter how much she tried. The problem was – she informed Harry about Louis’s location, about him being brought to the hospital and despite the fact that she apologized right after seeing Harry, realizing Louis' reasons, she hid behind laws – she could have lost her job as reporting a lost soulmate is extremely important.

Harry was pissed when she said that and controlled the remote of the TV for the rest of the day, leaving Louis with nothing else but shitty magazines – Harry hadn’t agreed to bring Louis his computer or at least buy him a new one, so that was fun.

They were playing like cats and dogs- passive aggressiveness in the air, though at the same time they kept their interactions as close to zero as possible and it really played not to their own advantage as Louis was not getting any better.

He was approaching week two, hoping to be let out, when the doctor came with results that weren't good news at all.

“Hello, Louis, Harry,” She greeted with a smile. But that warmed nobody’s heart as the couple stared at the doctor emotionlessly – they weren’t here to play pleasantries and they wanted out as soon as possible. “Well, the news I'm bearing is not the best." She added, biting her lip and glancing at Harry, who sat in his stupid armchair, looking intimidating.

"I can't leave?" Louis blinked hope in his voice still noticeable but not as much as last night. Last night he was ready to have a feast, certain he'll be let out and although going back to the house he never thought of as home sounded not the best, his chambers were his happy place, his comfort zone.

“First, let's talk about your results," The doctor compromised and Louis nodded – anything that wasn't a “no” worked for him. “The fetus is doing okay, some of your organs are bruised and damaged but are fully functioning to support the baby."

"Then what's the problem?" Harry jumped in, standing up from his armchair throne – Louis was certain he slept in that too, even though they had an additional bed brought specifically for Harry's ass.

"The problem is his blood results – his body is strained and not recovering as fast as we need it to for the body to fully function, during pregnancy."

"What you are trying to say is that his body can support the baby but cannot support him?" Harry's brows shot up and instantly Louis' arms went around his belly, curling around protectively as he glared at the blank in doctor's hands.

"His body can do that, if it gets supplements, rest and everything else that is needed for his recovery.”

“So I won’t die?” Louis interrupted and Harry’s glare was self-explanatory, really. If looks could kill, Louis wouldn’t even live to the see the next minute.

"What I want is for both of you to understand that your condition is very delicate – for soulmates deprivation of each other can strain the partner, especially the omega, leave alone a pregnant one. We cannot assure that the fetus is not dama-“

"Can we please not call her a fetus, it's her.” Louis crossed his arms and Harry’s eyes widened, green eyes lingering on Louis a second too long for it to pass as an innocent glance. So what if Louis didn’t tell him? It’s not like Harry asked, plus, he did the check-up behind closed doors and that was for a reason – Louis didn’t want him to know.

Knowing the gender of the baby was private, it was emotional and it felt real. Once you knew it felt so real that Louis feared for his own safety once Harry realized how real this was.

"Okay," Doctor nodded, offering a soft smile. "We cannot be sure if she is not disabled – many problems can occur, especially when we are talking about her mental state but that's something we'll know once she is here, however, for the omega," She took a pause to glance at Harry and Louis snickered because she clearly had preferences and Harry wasn't her favorite. "Your body is strained, further than you understand, in order to carry to a full term you have to be very gentle with your emotions, your surroundings must me calming and your bond with your alpha has to be very strong."

"Excuse me?" No. No, no, no, no. Louis knew that look. Louis knew what strong bond meant. It was not 24 hours spent in the same room not talking. It was a sincere bond, connected emotions, full dependence on one another. In other words – exactly what they have never been.

“Do I have to knot him?” Harry interrupted and Louis glared at him.

“Can you not be stupid for like one second?” He spat at Harry, taking all three of them by surprise.

“I-uhm…" The doctor scratched her neck, looking around the room, clearly uncomfortable. "Knotting is not... Crucially important, you need to give yourself to one another, this means deeper emotional dependence, not only physical connection. The child and the mother need to feel protected, to feel safe and only an alpha can give that, if not then the omega's body will be tensed, which will lead to the body not healing as it will be on alert rather than relaxation mode. It's very similar to bonding." She nodded because bonding is supposed to be easy.

For soulmates, bonding is a time of pleasure, a time of complete giving and taking. It's blissful, it’s what sleazy books are written about.

They didn’t do bonding.

Unless watching movies and reading together counts as one.

“So… I can be discharged, right?”

*

It was not like Louis expected anything to change, he didn't really, but somehow having a driver pick them up from the hospital and then making a seven-hour journey from Edinburgh to London made him re-think his whole life.

Can happiness be a different thing than it was yesterday? How much can being pregnant change, it's not like priorities change overnight. Or do they? The questions were left unanswered because Louis didn't have the answers, he didn't know.

What was enough for him before, wasn't enough now – his priorities had radically changed and as they were driving through the gates of the mansion Louis realized that the least he wanted was for his child to be brought up in a place like this, where dozens of unfamiliar cars were parked each day and people, who Louis never knew, felt more comfortable in there than he himself did.

Also, could he really consider Harry as a suitable father? Will he even be able to keep the child? Right now Harry was assuring him, once a day, that Louis must not fear for his daughter’s life and Harry had to keep the promise he gave to his omega – that was some soulmates bullshit going on, thanks to that Louis could sleep calmer.

But calmer didn't happen once he stepped into the mansion, apparently, there was a party going on that night and Louis held back a whimper when he sniffed alcohol and heard shouting. Leaving his very few belongings with Harry he practically ran upstairs to hide under blankets, grabbing one of Harry's sweaters from the closet. He ignored the fact that this room was not his but Harry's – right now he needed to work on that connection and his omega purred.

Harry didn't come to bed. Or well he did, but not instantly. The party was nearing an end or at least Louis guessed so by the loud screeching of the car tires as more and more ‘guests' informed him of their departure.

Sheets rustled and soon enough he felt the additional weight on the mattress, the blanket was pulled away from Louis and he whined, giving away his residence in Harry's bed. The moving stopped for a second, a sign giving away Harry's lack of knowledge on Louis' presence.

There were only two options for him right now – either tell Louis to go away or accept that he was making Harry's bed his own for tonight and if Harry allowed the second then for the nights to come.

Finally, he lied down, pulling the blanket on both of them but staying far enough to make cuddling impossible even if Louis turned twice to Harry's side – the 'advantages' of a king-sized bed.

"Did you bring me something to eat?" Louis was awake, so at least he could use that to his own advantage and strike a conversation. "Or was there only drugs and alcohol?" No one said that the conversation had to be a nice one.

There was no reply unless you count that Harry tugged blanket closer to himself, stealing it from Louis, which was a bad decision because now only half of Louis' body was covered and Harry's room was colder than his, so he was meant to get cold. To make the statement clearer, Louis rolled on his other side, now facing Harry but being visibly further from the warmth the blanket and Harry's presence surrounded him with.

"Would my request for you to move closer satisfied you?" Harry groaned, annoyance radiating off his voice but again, annoyance was Harry's second nature so it's not like Louis was very shaken to be treated roughly by his husband.

Rough was what Louis was accustomed to, he was familiar with it and completely fine with it but suddenly he wasn't, suddenly it was all different – he was needy, helplessly so. The reason they worked together so well was that neither of them required the other’s presence too often, they were both okay with the coldness that settled between them even if it wasn't perfect, it was alright, it was fine.

“You will do anything for me to be too sick to bring my child to life.” Louis snarled his voice full of anger though inside his omega was hiding his eyes under his paws, shamelessly begging for his alpha's console.

Pathetic.

“Perhaps your almost unfunctional brain doesn’t comprehend but the child, of whose presence you never bothered to inform me about, is mine too."

Only biologically, Louis wanted to say but stopped himself. Harry was getting angry, Louis could sense it and now he was getting even more riled up. Sleep wasn’t a common visitor for him and if his surroundings weren’t calming there was no way Louis will fall asleep tonight. So he just tugged the blanket to himself and wrapped it around his body, turning away from Harry, nuzzling his nose further into the fuzzy material.

Pine, mint and something very flowery filled his nostrils, soothing his nerves, his muscles unclenching and body relaxing immediately – for such an ugly personality Harry had an intoxicating scent.

*

Communication is the key for every good relationship – Louis knew that or at least he grew up in a household that believed in such terms, however, he was never taught about a partner, who declined any proper conversation or civil discussion, backing away from it and throwing rude remarks in return.

One week passed by and the place was more appalling to Louis than it had ever been before, despite the fact that he tried really hard to enjoy his time away from the hospital. 

He tried to recall every activity he did during the weekend that he enjoyed but the sour truth was – pleasant pass-time was the antonym of this place. On weekends Louis would rarely do anything exciting in the mansion – he would either leave to visit his family, prepare school projects or had Harry taking him somewhere. Bed rest crossed out all of those options and still, somehow he had to make himself feel better but he was miserable.

Harry tried his best to make it better by not doing the only thing he had to make Louis better – the alpha was never here. He fucked off to the library or the office room for the whole day and then left for the night, coming back home smelling not of himself and Louis wanted to whine and scream and writhe in his spot on Harry's bed that he had been occupying.

Instead of being there Harry had chefs accepting Louis demands aka cravings, he had a TV brought up for him, he had a computer and all the game consoles in here, also, the maid was directed to show up every hour to check-up on Louis for his toilet breaks or anything he could need.

But Louis didn't need anything. He didn't want anything – apathy haunted him every second he was awake and, to be honest, he was awake almost all the time except those few hours every now and then that he managed to grasp throughout the day and night.

He wasn't getting better and it was scary, frustrating and very depressing. Harry wasn't here – Louis understood that and he even respected that because he knew why he wasn't. It was written all over his face – Harry was hurt. It was not only his pride that had been damaged, it was a lot deeper – as an omega Louis neglected Harry who, as shown before many times, had problems with expressing himself, concentrating on passive aggressiveness instead.

But now Louis needed Harry to change, even if it had to happen overnight, he needed his mate to become a completely different person – he had nothing to offer now and he needed to be lifted off the ground. Instead of that, he received nothing and one week later his blood samples came back, the doctor visit happened and he was informed that he's not just not getting better, in fact, he’s getting worse, which can result in death while giving birth.

"You need to rest Louis." The doctor treated Louis as an idiot, really. As if Louis had too thick of a skull and couldn't get it in his head that he needed to rest. HE COULDN'T. You know what happened when Louis closed his eyes? Either a nightmare or some kind of scary, taunting thought haunted him, making him vomit.

“I am trying my best.” He remarked, probably too harsh but that’s all he was gonna give it to the doctor now. He was pregnant for god’s sake and so excuse him if he allowed himself to be pissed. Or maybe don't excuse him – no one been around often enough for Louis to be pissed. The maid was scared of Harry, the chef had to be texted to and Harry… Louis was scared to scream at Harry so doctor it will be. 

“Trying is good, great even but resting is important. You are on a bed rest, yeah?”

Yes, he was on a fucking bed rest, was the doctor blind? Louis was lying right fucking now, was that not self-explanatory? For God’s sake.

The whole meeting continued like that.

What did he eat? Did he have a balanced diet? What were his cravings like? When did he want to eat the most? Was his appetite good? How often did he vomit?

By the end of part 1 questionnaire, he wanted to throw his computer at the asshole because he was too tired to follow when and how he put food into his mouth. Did he have to keep a fucking journal now? Like some sick-ass person? Couldn't the idiot go to the chef himself and ask? It's not like Louis cooked everything himself, how on earth was he supposed to know if he consumed enough iron? He had no idea there was a specific diet plan dictated for him before the doctor said that and apparently, the chef knew.

Louis was raging and it was never-ending. He was pissed. Traveling to Scotland with one backpack, eating shit, sleeping shit and being miserable was more than just ‘hard', it was more than fucking camping – was that his prize? Doctor asking shit questions about what he ate?

“Okay, perhaps it’s better if I contact your chef about diet restrictions, you make it sound like he'll have something useful." The doctor sighed, giving up and finally making a damn conclusion after Louis telling him for twenty minutes straight that he didn't know shit about what he ate. 

But instead, that just threw him off. ‘Something useful' as if him trying to remember everything he was asked was worth nothing? How dare he.

A growl echoed in the big room, echoing to downstairs and Louis gasped as he looked around in surprise, finding no one else but himself and the doctor, who was now looking somewhat lost.

It was either Louis or the doctor that has growled and once Louis realized it was him, he blushed in embarrassment. “I am sorry.” He apologized but he wasn’t sorry at all. Actually, he was prideful and he wanted to squeal and smile and laugh and dance and sing.

"Anger is completely normal emotion, Louis. After being distanced from your mate, especially during the most demanding period of the pregnancy, gives you the right to be angry. There is also no surprise that the symptoms haven't substituted – it’s how your body adjusts to the changes. However, we cannot let the body fight itself and we need you to be as healthy as possible.”

"I puke a lot." Louis sighed, biting his bottom lip and thinking how nearing sixth pregnancy month meant everything but that. "My mom's been pregnant plenty of times but it all stopped around the second trimester and for me, it doesn't stop at all. Whatever symptom you know – name it, I'll have it."

Admitting that was hard. Harder than Louis thought it will be – once he said that, he had tears in his eyes because he wasn't uneducated when it came to pregnancy. As he already said – he had his mother being pregnant, multiple times and he knew a lot about it. The pros and cons, the duration, the struggle and the changes that came with it, he saw it happen four times on his mother and he knew that what was happening to him wasn't the same.

Saying that Louis was scared would be an understatement.

The doctor picked on that. Louis had a therapist to see in five days right after the check-up on the baby, which he spent five minutes crying about – turns out he might be having depression and his emotional state was far more damaged than they inspected at the hospital.

An offer was given to Louis- that the discussion could be continued once he calmed down and there was a distant suggestion that his alpha should take over this questionnaire. Louis dismissed the doctor, asking for this to be continued when he went to the hospital because just the thought of Harry's presence here or lack of it made him sob for ten minutes straight. The worst part of it – Harry was only down the hallway, unbothered to show up knowing Louis was crying.

The file with information was left behind – in the real world if the alpha couldn't join his mate during such things, they had to be handed a file and Louis couldn't hold himself back anymore.

For a whole week he had been fighting against his own nature, for seven days, that's about one hundred seventy hours, he'd been keeping himself back from going to Harry for the console. They both heard it right – as soulmates they needed to strengthen their bond. They neglected the warning and Louis was not better, he was worse and he might die and he had no one to go to.

After three years of marriage, he was alone. Probably even since the first date they spent together he was alone and now he couldn't be any more – he wasn't strong enough to be enough for himself.

Blinking the tears away he remembered the first time they met. It was a miracle that they did – living completely opposite lifestyles meant having nothing in common, visiting completely different places. Harry had others to do grocery shopping and all the shopping in general. He never used the tube, he didn't flight cheap airlines – he had his own private jet. And yet they met at the bookshop.

As Louis later found out, Harry had a day off to himself and decided to do the least Harry thing – take a walk before going to the restaurant for lunch. Louis was there rummaging through the shelves because the cashier was a cute boy, studying literature and in the past month, to his own embarrassment, Louis became a weekly visitor, which got him the number of the guy, so he was quite alright with that. 

But that meant continuing to play the charade and he did. Every week he would come searching for a book, which was quite reasonable – he was quite a reader and bookshop had a lot to offer. That particular weekend his interest was detectives, right next to business management books, which was what attracted the newcomer with a very nice perfume on, the smell was a very weird mixture of scents it put Louis senses on alert.

And not in the type of way that had him curious but in the type of way that was intoxicating, making Louis look up curiously, making Louis want to nuzzle into the chest of the guy as he radiated the devious mixture of scents.

“Harry.” The hand reached out, as the most beautiful man Louis had ever seen stood in front of him.

The moment Louis shook the hand all his senses were rilled up, the book falling down on the ground with a loud thud and his heart skipped a beat because once you meet your soulmate your heart changes the beat – that's how you know it's your soulmate. The beat synchronizes for the rest of your lives and if you're anxious or happy - your soulmate knows.

The past events made Louis doubt the statement – if the things they said about soulmates were remotely true, Harry wouldn't be the way he was. Every rule has exceptions, right?

It just so has happened that Harry was the exception in Louis’s life that he had to live with and he will. He will. He promised to himself that he will but right now he was on the verge of breaking, he almost died and he might really die next time so just for one moment, he needed an exception to make an exception.

With his wobbly legs, he stood up, holding on a bedrest as he stared at the door, who right now was too far away. 5'6, weighing 115 pounds while pregnant was not ideal, it was underweight, it was under the norm by twenty pounds at least and Louis knew. He woke up with a disgusting view of himself every morning and not just weight but his eyes, skin, hair too.

And not only that - even when lying in bed his knees were aching, back hurting all the time and his organs were still moving, making place for the baby. There was a reason he was on a bed rest but he still showered by himself every night, it’s not like Harry was there to help.

But the shower was closer than Harry's office. They both had the second floor of the mansion divided in two for both of them and Harry's office was separated at the end of the hallway right after the library. By the time Louis reached it, he felt exactly the same as he did after every gym class back in high school and that said a lot.

He didn't knock when he entered and found himself with quite a view. The office room was huge (who's surprised, really?) the desk was in the middle, facing the door and Harry sat there in his throne made out of the black chair, chatting with someone on the phone, which he stopped doing once he saw Louis coming in.

He froze.

Harry Styles froze.

Even if it was the least of his worries, Louis wanted this to be photographed, framed and hanged in his bedroom right above TV because that was quite a view though Louis didn’t blame him. Harry hadn’t seen him off bed rest since they returned and even if it pained him to say – he looked worse than when he was discharged from the hospital. A lot worse.

"I'll call you later," Harry spoke to someone before ending the call, his eyes not leaving Louis body but not saying a word.

“I-“ Louis tried to start but was rudely cut off by Harry.

“What do you want?” Harry spat and that was expected but didn’t hurt any less.

There were few rules in this house – never enter Louis’s or Harry's chambers when one of them was either heat or rut and never enter Harry's office unless you are called in.

Number one rule was to never enter the office.

The folder Louis held tightly in his hand weighed more than before Louis left the room and his whole body trembled before letting out a wave of sobs and violent waves shook his body as he just couldn’t stop tears from flowing.

There he was – pathetic to Harry's eyes, an apology of a mate, worthless but he didn't care anymore. Harry could kick him out and then Louis will just stand abandoned behind the door because he couldn't do it anymore.

Somehow between the sobs, he managed to say that he couldn't and he doubted Harry knew what he meant so he wasn't surprised at all when Harry jumped from his seat, running right in front of him, ready to either punch him or push him out.

Louis held the folder closer as waves of sadness shook his whole body. He felt like dying and he felt cold but his body still reacted and he flinched when Harry reached out to punch him.

Just that Harry wasn't reaching out to punch him and all those times Louis joked about the emotionless face of Harry meant nothing because the pain and the sadness he saw in Harry as he jumped back were unmistakenly there.

And then, out of nowhere, Louis felt it in his chest. Rumbling, distant and somehow secured but definitely there – Harry’s pain. The alpha’s agony and scream of frustration, announcing that he was scared at the view in front of him.

This.

This was all Louis needed to know.

That he's here, for him, ready to take a place by his side.

Harry's arms were already waiting for him when he took a step.

They tightly wrapped around his bones, warming him from inside the warmth spreading outside as he finally had his legs giving up, leaving him boneless in his alpha's arms.

He had a chest to lean into, he had arms protectively wrapping around him and for a moment Louis could let go of everything he had been bottling in, he had someone to keep him in one piece now.

“Shhhh,” Harry slowly lifted him off the ground, bringing them to the couch.

Their bodies bundled together into one strange shape, Louis burying his face deep into the smell of Harry, Harry lingering over him, from the other side of the room it must have looked like he was crushing Louis but instead it felt like a shield, protecting him.

Harry was his protector.

“I don’t know…” Harry trailed off once they were settled on the couch. “I… Can I do this? I won’t harm you if I am over you like this?”

The words were hesitant, almost reluctant as if meant to be held back instead of rolling down Harry’s tongue into the tension of the room. Funny how suddenly Harry felt scared of tiny things as if a soft touch could harm Louis or the baby.

Many things could be done and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash but now he had to make sure Louis was alright before towering over him. Funny how times change.

"Please…" Louis whimpered, mind still clouded, worry had taken over him. No matter how angry and disturbed both of them might have been, personal displease had to be left behind, right now that wasn't the priority.

Apparently, Harry grasped on to that, to Louis’s utter surprise and fulfilled his alpha duties at last or at least that's how he's been behaving so far.

Once Louis’s sobs substituted, he moved them both from their position, placing Louis firmly onto his lap, holding him close, like a baby. Exactly like that time after they had bonded and Louis screamed in pain as tears rolled down his cheeks.

It was intimate like this. More than anything they had done so far, at least for Louis. It was one thing to have animalistic, almost barbaric, sex but being this close, scenting one another, breathing in the same air, bodies colliding with no free space for air to circulate – his body went numb at the same time as all senses came rushing through his veins.

A spectacular feeling filled his insides, his lungs, mind and he moaned loudly, reacting to the canines nibbling on his mark.

“Here we go, baby, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

It was a promise.

Harry had it down word to word from the time they had bonded and Louis’s fists clenched around Harry’s shirt as the feeling rolled down his body, bringing the memories and creating new ones of this intimate moment.

"You have me." He repeated, voice shaky, fingers trembling – he wasn't alright. Not only because of what happened before but he was not alright now too. Completely giving your self to your mate was a private, intimate thing that had to be done in the most secure places. They bonded in Louis’s flat back then, even if Harry was ready to promise him luxurious hotels or overpriced mansions, he demanded it to happen in a place where he felt protected.

Where he was now, wasn't a safe place. For a second he locked his eyes with Harry, trying to place the understanding on his shoulders, trying to tell him without actually speaking, trying to express it through their bond.

He knew immediately that it got to Harry when the mood in the room changed. Harry's scent, even if slightly, changed too. It had a rainy twinge in it but Harry's eyes spoke the most – they were wide, full of sorrow, silent apologies addressed only to Louis.

He knew.

Louis breathed easier at that because now Harry knew.

"Sleep now, omega," Harry commanded and Louis listened, the arms around him tightened, protecting him from the unfamiliar place that wasn't his home. That wasn't what he wanted, that wasn't where he calmly could have his nest.

But for now he had Harry here, holding him and Harry’s scent was what he would want in his nest, he was settled, for now.

*

Sometimes the ones we love the most are hurting the most because of us and our blindness can be detrimental – the actions you take can build the person back up or it can crush him and as much as you don’t want it, the final judge of it is only you, when you witness what you have done with your own eyes.

The nature of an alpha meant protector – that's all he had to be. Alphas were to take pride in their gender by following their duties. The main job he had was to be there for his mate, to support him. But support doesn't come in flashy things, in huge sums of money, in cars. It doesn't.

Whoever claimed that happiness can be bought with money, had lied. And not just actually lied but fed the poisonous philosophy that broke the trust of the person Harry was meant to protect.

He had it all under control, he thought he did.

His personal hatred had a lot to do with it, but he was so mad. The child was his too. The baby girl. It was his baby girl and Louis had no right to do what he did, however, when Harry saw him it was clear- he was the bad one in this game, no one was spared an apology for him and even Louis treated himself with clear distaste.

Harry was feared by him and that's what made Louis pack his belongings and run – that's how bad he felt being with him and… And Harry loved how others treated him with respect, how they feared him but there was only one person in this world that Harry never wanted to be afraid of him. And he was.

He lived under the impression that whilst he was giving what he was supposed to give to his mate, his actions were, if not alright then at least justified. Whatever Louis would ask – he was given in a blink of an eye. Vacation, clothes, things – name something money can buy and Harry had it under control.

It was not enough.

Harry took vows to protect, cherish, never abandon him and he never lived up to his promises. Promises that he had given to his soulmate, to his one and only, to the one he was destined to be with.

Hours passed, the darkness filled the room, Louis kept huffing in his sleep, Harry hadn’t dared to move an inch or change his breathing so as to not wake him up.

He knew Louis hadn’t been sleeping.

He wasn’t particularly helpful with that either.

Returning home late, not even reaching out to assure Louis of anything, not protecting him from fears that’d been piling up.

Instead of seeing that, Harry was composing a threat. He already had the sentence lingering in his mind, waiting for Louis to snap, to say something about it and then Harry would have thrown it at him. Eagerness took over his body and he programmed himself to do things that would push Louis over the edge and when it had happened he would have said the same line that he always did – ‘you knew who I was, no one cares about you now, omega’.

The words were there.

What was he even trying to fool? He wanted to throw those words at Louis just to see him crumble, to see him hurting because Harry was hurting too and he deserved an apology but did he really?

A blue file caught his eyes and he knew that it was bad, once he saw Louis in his office. Even before that he knew it was bad, he felt it through their bond – it was not good and Louis was crushed.

He was too skinny now. Harry could see it, he saw right through him when he stood at the doorstep of his office, Louis looked worse than he did when they left the hospital.

“Please don’t die.” He whispered to Louis but his pleading was only for his own ears.

He paid in tears for what he'd done. His cries were muffled by Louis as he hid his own shame in Louis' neck, holding the sleeping boy close to himself.

They were parents now and Harry wasn’t even a proper husband yet.

He was the worst excuse of a husband, parent, lover. He was a good boss, sadly Louis and their daughter weren't his property, they weren't his workers, they weren't a job and Harry's never been good at things that weren't his job.

*

Louis woke up feeling warm and safe. In Harry’s arms.

"Hi." Harry greeted him a bit sooner than Louis would have liked to be confronted. "You slept alright?" He hummed positively, too lazy to talk. Harry chuckled, firm hands pulling Louis closer, one hand on his bump. "I'm glad."

Louis sent warmth through their bond and gasped, eyes fluttering open when Harry returned the pleasant feeling through their bond. Harry rarely used the bond, in fact, he almost never did. But now waves came crashing into Louis, he was drowning in attention, pleasantly purring, it's like Harry formed a bubble around them.

"You must be hungry." Harry interrupted and suddenly the bubble was popped. Even the slight thought of someone’s invasion was crushing and he whined loudly, bond stretching itself too hard, Louis felt that the illusion of perfection might pop easily just like the bubble had and he sniffed, showing his sadness. "Let me find us a place, yeah? I'll take you somewhere, just the two of us, will that help?" Harry asked and Louis peered curiously because yes.

“Just the two of us?” He asked unsure because drivers, maids, chefs, security guards – they were always around with no exceptions.

“Is that what you want?” Harry asked and Louis nodded.

“Please.” He added.

“Then yes, just the two of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal Instagram @sbalkauskaite  
> EWB used Insta, where sometimes post things about writing @haroldsnotmname  
> Our amazing beta's Instagram @gallalarry


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God bless my beta reader, who went through this chapter making errors or a bigger part of them go away.  
> I am also not sorry and not apologizing for taking so long - if it was up to me, I would take few more weeks perfecting this chapter but I am not ignorant and I know there are people waiting.  
> So here you are, comments are highly appreciated but only if they are constructive - let me know your thoughts, what you wanted differently. My beta (god bless her again) suggested diving this into two parts, would be interesting to hear your opinions on that.  
> Love you all, xx <3

Harry’s version of just the two of them meant no one else around them less than one-tenth of a mile along with a dozens of guards who were camping in surrounding buildings around the cottage that Harry had found, which was not even a cottage; the place was huge and way too big to pass as a calm village house.

Louis spent half a day bawling his eyes out before Harry had no other option than to just load all of the baggage they brought back into the truck and drive them to London. Louis locked himself in his bedroom and sent only sadness and anger through their bond, ignoring the banging on the door, which was endless.

Harry didn’t own a key. It was a simple, but a very nice gesture of his, showing how much he respected Louis’ privacy even though it was under the condition that Louis always opened the door when Harry knocked. The agreement was also under the threat that if he was not to follow the demands, he’ll live in doorless chambers but right now Louis couldn’t care less.

He was angry and hurt.

Harry made a promise to rent them a cabin about two hours away from London as they still had to go for check-ups once a week. The place was supposed to be diminutive, homey, cosy and just for the two of them.

Louis dreamt of a nice cabin just like in old movies, where everything was old, on the verge of breaking and offered only a few square meters of space so they would be forced to live in each other’s pockets.

That illusion was shattered into pieces and it pained him too much.

Maybe it was because he was pregnant, but also because right now they were moving forward, they managed to break the wall separating them. Even if it was the second day after Louis’ breakdown in Harry’s office, they were opening up to each other. Harry used the bond, he was sharing his emotions with Louis and it was something inexperienced, something so delicate, beautiful and amazing, it was laborious to put it in words.

During the whole pregnancy, these few days had been the best and Louis was actually resting this time instead of just following that stupid bed rest rule.

Not much, not visibly at least, but he was getting better. He was sleeping, now that Harry was wrapping his arms around him protectively, he was sleeping a lot, almost all the time and the pain was bearable now. He was actually hungry. If this continued, he really could imagine getting better, to carry full term, to be happy, to have what he wanted.

Another loud wail escaped from his lips and the loud banging only stopped for a second before Harry banged at the door.

“ _Louis_ , I swear to god,” He heard Harry cursing under his breath, the slight tremble of alpha’s voice aching in Louis' ears. He was pushing it too far, Harry was adjacent to losing control. Good. Let his alpha suffer, Louis thought, sniffing into his pillow.

“Go away!” He screamed, not facing the door. His omega was scratching against Louis, one wrong move and he might give in. He was not unlocking the door.

He was not opening the bloody door and Harry could growl all he wanted. He could even break the door, crawl through the window – Louis didn’t give a flying fuck, he was pissed.

“Open the door,” Harry commanded, his voice still his.

Louis sniffed again, whimpering instead of saying something back and Harry howled, sending anxiousness and worry through their bond, asking, no, pleading to open the door.

“I asked you to leave!” Louis wailed, trashing in his own bed, standing up to open the door then forcing himself back down. “Go and do some work – that’s all you’re fucking good at!”

And right at that moment, when those harsh words were let out, he instantly knew that he punched exactly where it hurt the most. His heart skipped a beat and he knew that it was because Harry’s did so. There was nothing left to say, the door would be coming down in a second. The most he could wish for was that there weren’t people around them to watch the scene of a raging Harry stumbling into the room as the door fell on the ground with a loud thud.

“You broke my door.” He really shouldn’t be talking, but he was pissed, so he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Harry. Instead of replying Harry snarled and strode to Louis' bed, throwing himself on the white sheets, dragging Louis onto his lap, holding him tight until he had to stop fighting against the firm grip. “Let me go.” He demanded but Harry did no such thing, instead, he sighed, looking at Louis sympathetically.

And that’s when it hit.

Louis was crying. On and off for the whole day. In front of Harry.

Horror settled in his guts – Louis sobbed the whole day away in front of Harry and that was a new low for him. One thing was to silently fight with Harry or ignore Harry or lack Harry’s presence but it was completely different to publicly show his childish behaviour and howl like a toddler.

And he did that in front of everyone. He cried the whole ride back and he did not stop when they entered the house – everyone saw him.

He was going to puke.

“Louis.” Harry addressed him, demanding his attention but he was too far in it, he needed to find the loo, he wasn’t feeling good. God, this was so bad, he was so stupid, how did he not think about this. “Louis, look at me,” Harry demanded again, somewhere distantly Louis felt slender fingers, wrapping around his jaw, turning his head into the position that forced him to face Harry.

Green eyes full of worry burned into his teary blue eyes and sadness took over, making him tear up again – he was so damn pathetic, an excuse for an omega, a failure. He was the meaning of the word failure — whimpering in Harry’s hands, barely holding himself together and howling like there’s no tomorrow while he had so many more things to be worried about.

“Louis, stop it.”

He was pregnant, his duty was to be there for his child, to protect his daughter but instead of doing what he had to he was here, hardly holding himself.

“Louis.”

He couldn’t even take care of himself, everything about his body was wrong right now, he almost died and he still couldn’t fight for himself and his child.

“ _Omega_.” Alpha’s voice was soothing, bringing out his omega, numbing his emotions, his thoughts were fading as he felt his body go numb.

He didn’t go under but it was enough for his brain to stop functioning as he stared at Harry, his body lump, he was powerless and completely vulnerable, sprawled in his mate’s arms.

“Please…” Louis whimpered, it took a lot for him to put those letters in one word but he tried his best.

“Calm down, right now,” Harry demanded but his voice back to normal. He looked paler than usual, he must have received a lot of emotions through their bond because Louis felt only guilt and sorrow coming from Harry right now.

“You lied.” The accusation was well expected and Harry didn’t deny it as he nodded, confirming what Louis was crying about all day.

“It was not what you wanted, I failed on my mission to protect you,” Harry admitted and there was nothing to add. He did. Right now Louis didn’t want to see his face, he was angry. “I know you are disappointed, you have every right to be.” There was a pause and Louis looked away, avoiding the intense green irises, burning into his skull. “Will you let me make it right?” Harry finally dared to ask and if not for the alpha command a few seconds ago he would have thrown something at him, demanded for him to leave and mocked him that Harry had no idea how to make anything right.

But right now Louis’ body was slow, tired and he nodded because the waves of soothing calmness coming through their bond made him relax. That's what he wanted even if for a short moment before the bliss passed away and he was back to reality where he hated Harry and where all his promises were worthless.

“Good, that’s good.” He felt Harry’s lips on his forehead – he was kissing Louis, pulling him closer. “Let me hold you now, calm down, omega.” And Louis did. That’s all it took for his traitorous body to relax and lean into his husband, relaxing all of his muscles, distancing himself from all those things that broke his heart.

*

The compromise that Harry had promised, when Louis was a crying mess, was now his greatest weapon as he paraded into Harry’s office, where Harry was working on something very important, wearing his leggings, Harry’s fuzzy and probably very overprized sweater, looking everything Harry requested not to look like.

And yes, Harry had given him rules in a place where he was supposed to feel at home. It was a demand from the beginning – Louis was not to leave his chambers wearing something like that, even if it was to go into Harry’s room. In other words, Harry demanded him to look gathered aka not walk around in trashy leggings he bought at Primark (all clothes otherwise where bought to him on Harry’s demand after the personal stylist measured Louis and brought endless bags of expensive names, that made Louis cringe because he felt weird in front of his colleagues) and not to wear Harry’s oversized clothes on him whilst others could see.

Everyone in the house walked around in jeans or pants most of the time, so if Louis wanted to look trashy he was supposed to do that only in his room and if he wanted something from the kitchen he could always demand one of the maids to bring him stuff.

The rule was simple, easy to follow and reasonable, to Harry at least, but right now Louis did the complete opposite just because he wanted to. And he also broke the number one rule – to never enter Harry’s office (not the first time though). He wanted to be a pain in the ass and so he will be.

“I found a place.” He barged in, ignoring Harry’s instant glare and the slight displease that he knew the alpha felt.

“Do I need to put a sign that this room is my office? Have you forgotten?” Harry’s voice was neither playful nor annoyed so Louis considered this a win. Because let’s be honest, if Harry had wanted to kick him out he would have been out of here the moment he touched the door’s handle.

“It’s in Essex,” Louis added, putting his laptop right over the sprawled papers on Harry’s desk, plopping into the armchair right in front of him.

“I am working.”

“It can wait.”

Harry’s lips quirked into a small smile and Louis would have passed it for nothing if not his hormones or the fact that Harry fucked up his recent promise.

“Are you laughing at me?” He preached, glaring at Harry, anger running through his veins.

Harry left him in his half nap about an hour ago after he had managed to calm Louis down, as expected the doors where no longer in place and Harry was working in his office for way too long. It was almost midnight now and Louis kept tossing & turning in Harry’s bed, waiting for him to come and hug Louis but that didn’t happen so then he searched for his dream place and now he was here.

He was pissed.

“No, I uhm-” Harry coughed, suppressing his laughter and Louis sent daggers his way.

“HARRY!” He roared and Harry broke into a laughter, barking out a disgusting laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He looked disgusting. Louis blushed.

“Sorry, sorry,” At least he had the decency to apologize but the smile on his face showed his amusement towards Louis’ frustration. “You say you found your place?”

“That’s what I said, yes.” Louis crossed his arms, turning to the window, showing his displease.

“Okay.” Harry nodded, looking back at his computer screen, completely ignoring Louis laptop placed right in front of him.

“Fine, I’ll go alone.” Louis stood up, reaching out to grab his computer.

His wrists were clasped together, no space to move them as reached for his device. Harry’s hands were strong and Louis huffed, offended with how he was neglected for what he wanted to do though at the same time he knew that he was acting out more than he usually did.

“You’re not going alone anywhere,” The voice that was so careless, almost soft, now was strict, with no room for negotiation. “Have I made myself clear?”

Stubbornly Louis pulled himself back, failing at his attempt to free himself, but at least he tried. He’d rather fight Harry instead of just jumping to follow his demands.

Yes, insisting on going somewhere alone was harsh, probably even more than that – he knew he had hurt Harry when he ran away. His stunt was not talked about anywhere in the house but that didn’t make Louis feel any better, he knew he hurt Harry, he knew he betrayed him.

“It pained me to leave you,” Louis said instead of replying the way he knew Harry wanted him to. “More than you know, more than you think.” He added carefully, relaxing his wrists into submission. “Being away from you is not what I want.“

‘But I still ran because I was scared for my child’s life’ – was the unspoken truth that lingered in the air. For now, it needn't be discussed. Right now, what he said was the confirmation that Harry needed; Louis owed him that. His soulmate’s goal was never to hurt or abandon him, it was to give Louis all he could and Louis, pregnant or not, had betrayed him.

“I’ll book the place.”

“Thank you.” Harry let go of his wrists and motioned Louis to leave.

*

The place was beautiful.

Harry demanded three times for Louis to change his mind but endless amusement with which Harry did so, gave Louis the strength he needed to neglect the request.

He called it hideous, Louis loved it. There was a bedroom, living room, kitchen and a very modern shower – it wasn’t exactly what he wanted but it was far from the city with plain acres of land surrounding them. He couldn’t wait to drink mugs of hot chocolate and have Harry working on a fireplace in there.

Harry booked it right after Louis' doctor appointment, where he was right now, Harry behind the door, listening to Louis obediently, as the omega insisted on him staying away until it was time for the baby’s check-up.

“You don’t make demands.” Harry reminded him when Louis stated that he was to stay behind but he complied anyway. Louis almost called him a good boy but decided not to test his patience. Even if fear to be forced into abortion vanished, there were other things he was scared of.

“So Louis,” Doctor smiled slightly, Louis wondered if he was bribed to have Louis as his patient, they were in a very fancy place, there should be a long line to get here. “How are you feeling? You came here on your own, right?”

Louis shuddered, remembering how one nurse demanded of him to be seated into the wheelchair and Louis said he’ll hide in the car until she walked away. So yeah, he came here on his own, thank you very much.

“I am more than capable,” Louis stated, crossing his arms. He had a feeling the wheelchair scene was secretly the doctor’s demand.

“The tests we’ll run will show us.” Apparently, Louis opinion meant nothing in here. “Are you eating better? Sleeping better?”

“Yes.”

“How many hours per day are you sleeping?” Louis huffed, really, was he supposed to track his sleeping hours? That’s absurd. “Maybe your mate will know.” The doctor insisted after Louis voiced out what he thought about all those questions and that’s how Harry was called in. Harry, who was as always, looking way too formal for the doctor’s room, too tense. He didn’t belong here.

He belonged in his office back in that skyscraper in the city centre, wearing expensive suits and barking orders and demands at others. Louis should be here alone.

“About twelve, give or take.” Harry’s reply took Louis by surprise and he stared at him as Harry poured all information doctor requested to know. “He naps throughout the day a lot but I don’t know if that counts as sleeping. I don’t know if that counts as bed rest but he spends time in my office on the couch or in the library.”

Louis did actually. The rule to never enter Harry’s office seemed so pointless for the last couple of days as he followed the same pattern. He’d wake up, Harry would be already gone, they would bring him breakfast, he’d eat, nap and then move himself to Harry’s office, where he could annoy his husband and read books, then they would have lunch, Louis would nap again on the couch this time, sometimes striking up a conversation with Harry, sometimes he would demand some snacks. Sometimes Harry would leave downstairs for dinner, claiming he had people to talk to, Louis thought he had some business meetings downstairs. Louis would eat alone or wait for Harry then he would shower and go to bed.

He still avoided calling his work, asking about his position and his sudden leave. Harry had it covered and Louis had an alibi, his sudden runaway was brushed off to horrible sickness. The last time he heard, they were informed he was pregnant and won’t be back for a while.

As he zoned out he didn’t hear a bigger part of the conversation the doctor and Harry had but it was the boring stuff. Surprisingly Harry had all the answers the doctor needed.

What Louis ate, when he ate it, what cravings he had, what vitamins were in his food, when he took a shit, when he puked, when he showered, was he physically active, was he emotional (he said no at the same time Harry said yes and doctor nodded, marking his answer as a yes, Louis wanted to punch them both).

“How often is your sexual intercourse?” The question brought Louis from the deep thoughts as he stared at the doctor in horror, his face turning crimson red.

This was exactly why he wanted Harry out before they started the usual check-up on the baby. This was the only reason Louis wanted Harry to stay away. This was his worst nightmare.

“Excuse me?” Harry was shocked by the question and Louis rolled his eyes, keeping his emotions to himself so the bond wouldn’t flicker and wouldn’t betray him to Harry.

“Sex.” Doctor clarified and Louis bit his lip from laughing. Oh, this was embarrassing but also fun, watching Harry being mocked.

“I know what sexual intercourse means, doctor,” Harry grumbled. Louis expected him to growl but they were in front of a doctor, perhaps Harry had some self-respect.

“Well, uhm…” The doctor looked at Louis, asking for what, help? No way, Louis was not lending him a hand, the idiot got into this mess by his own doing and Louis was too busy looking at the ground instead of addressing the situation at hand. “It is very common that during the pregnancy soulmates have a higher libido than usual, if one of you doesn’t there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Oh, God.

Oh God, could Louis die right now, please?

If he was blushing before than right now he was as fucking red as a bloody tomato and he felt Harry’s eyes on him but he refused to look up.

Yes, he might have had some trouble with his sex drive, let’s just say he was quite frustrated, yeah? It came out of nowhere these days and he was never the one to jump on Harry, plus the situation was too intense for Louis to just bring up that he was slick more often than not. Also, while he was asleep it wasn’t that much of a problem and he slept a lot, so he decided to just ignore it, simple as that.

The doctor was well aware of Louis sexual needs and he was bringing that up not very discretely and not in a proper moment at all.

“Higher libido?” Harry repeated doctor’s words and Louis wanted to dig a hole in the floor and then go through that hole under the ground, hiding from this situation and never showing his face again. “Shouldn’t we be careful with Louis current state?” Harry asked and did he really have to?

Couldn’t he just shut up and move on? Was it really that necessary for the doctor to clarify? How was he supposed to look Harry in the eyes after this?

“Well, pregnancy is the time when soulmates have a pull to each other, staying apart for this long means deprivation of the connection that’s much needed, strengthening the connection is crucially important, especially for omegas, however, it’s very common that not all alphas feel the same, it has happened before though in this case having physical interaction would be good.” The doctor explained and there was no way Louis could brush it off, calling it a dumb philosophy of the medicine that was inaccurate.

Now Harry knew that Louis was sexually frustrated. It was rubbed in his face by the third party and Louis didn’t even know what feeling he should exploit through their bond to make this less awful.

 “We don’t do that,” Harry replied voice sour, almost cold and Louis hunched under the wave of hidden annoyance that was not there unless you were bonded with Harry and could feel ins and outs of his moods.

“Okay.” The doctor replied, keen to finish the discussion even if according to protocol he should educate the alpha that sexual interactions were what Louis needed. Louis felt thankful that he didn’t do that and saved him the humiliation because just the last few minutes of this visit made him think that he should have died in that abandoned house back in Scotland.

“Can we check on the baby?” Louis interrupted the tension in the room and avoided Harry’s eyes to the best of his abilities whilst they were transferred to the other room where all the equipment required was held.

Today they were supposed to run the ultrasound and check on the baby. Louis was excited, they should be hearing the heartbeat, maybe even get a picture. But then again, they might not hear a heartbeat, something awful might have happened – last time they assured him that everything was okay but what about now? What if something has changed, what if they will turn the sound on and there will be a complete silence.

“I’m not feeling well,” Louis mumbled as the monitor lit on, the doctor turned it on and now was about to ask him to lay down.

Suddenly Louis felt his breakfast coming back up, frantically he looked around the dimly lit room, looking for something he could puke in.

“It’s okay, it happens more often than you would think,” Doctor assured him, motioning to the sink.

Louis was hunching over it puking everything out, removing everything he hadn’t stomached yet. He couldn’t stop his body from violently shaking.

He sensed Harry’s concern and soon enough he was hugging Louis, bringing him to his chest, kissing his sweaty forehead as Louis breathed him in.

“Are you okay?” Harry’s voice was gentle, guiding him back on the stool.

They held hands throughout the procedure, Louis slightly sniffing when soft heartbeat filled the room, so melodic and so soft Louis had the need to clutch his belly and never let go of it.

Louis was officially 23 weeks now and the baby had features, she was tiny, she was in Louis. She.

At the end of a procedure, Harry leaned in his raspy soft lips right next to Louis' ear. “Our little princess.” He whispered softly. Louis cried the whole time he was guided to the therapist room.

*

Pre-baby anxiety, depression, loss of appetite, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, paranoia – the paper with all those conditions was showed to Louis but handed to Harry and was a serious cause of this tense silence in the car on their way to Louis' dream destination. No security or random safeguards were in front or behind of them and that was all Louis wanted a few days ago, before the visit to the hospital.

Now, when he had Harry who had read through the paper and then tried to hide his disappointment, being only two of them wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

“The therapist exaggerated.” Louis finally opened his mouth. At least someone had to do something, right? They were about to spend days together so he might as well do something to reduce the tension.  “He listened to what I said and then asked two things and then put down the list of things that are apparently 'wrong' with me.”

“He wrote down medical conditions that you have, it’s clearly written, black on white, Louis.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s right.” Louis debated because he was correct. According to their contract, he was supposed to tell therapist everything and he did say a lot – he said he ran away, he said why and he said why he ran away the way he did it wasn't his fault that the idiot decided Louis was unstable.

“I don’t see you owning a medical degree.” Harry didn’t believe him and why would he? With this whole thing, he must have made it his mission to be as tough to Louis as possible and now Louis had to make him see the truth. Great.

“That’s true! He decided that I have paranoia because when he asked why I didn’t stay at one place I said I had to keep running away because you had connections everywhere! Am I wrong? No! But he said that I have paranoia.”

“Oh, so you don’t have depression, anxiety, insomnia, huh?”

When kids at Louis’ job acted this way they were called mean. Right now Harry was mean. Blame it on his emotions if you will but Louis was hurt.

“You said so yourself – I sleep! Twelve hours, how on earth is that insomnia?” He argued, noticing how Harry’s hands firmly gripped the wheel, knuckles white.

“Before that,” Harry mumbled, looking at the road, navigation in front of them pointing out the directions, he wanted to snicker when Harry almost missed a turn but decided against it. Maybe when the mood between them won’t be so foul he will mock and laugh at Harry but right now it sounded wiser to keep his opinions to himself.

“Yeah, were you none of those things when I left?” Louis asked sarcastically and he shouldn’t have. Right after he said that he realized that he really shouldn’t have addressed the matter so boldly and newly found silence in the car was weighing his chest not in a pleasant way.

“I was.” Harry finally replied and Louis turned to look at the window. It was cold outside. Louis was on the verge of death during Christmas time and then there was New Years’ eve right when he was leaving the hospital - his most favourite holidays. Right now he was thankful to be in a warm car next to Harry, his pregnant belly making it uncomfortable to sit – he was happy.

*

Louis was on a bed rest for a reason, quite important one too so perhaps insisting on coming to the supermarket was idiotic, to say the least. But yet, he did and Harry, even if unhappy, complied with Louis' demand, which was probably only because he wanted to say that he was right from the very beginning.

He was happy to be in the supermarket, delighted even.

Louis loved grocery shopping, it was his favourite thing when it came to errands and to him, this was the best part of living alone and having to provide for himself. Even when he was a child, he would beg his mother to take him and he would make a list, crossing out each object once he had it in their cart. Of course, when he got married to Harry and moved out, he had other people doing this for him – there was always tons of food at the house and as the time passed grocery shopping just seemed like a waste of time.

But right now, when moving to that cottage, apart from anything modern, supermarkets included, they had to get everything they needed, so this was too good of an opportunity for Louis to pass and considering his physical capacities it hadn't been a very wise to allow him to tag along.

Fifteen minutes into the shopping the excitement and the buzz died down because his body began to ache and he needed to sit down - he was having difficulties standing on his feet.

“I told you so.” Harry reminded him as he guided Louis back to the car with one shopping bag in hand, insisting on returning on his own later on or leaving Louis in the car, which would have caused quite a ruckus if Harry wouldn’t be Harry. Whatever Louis had to say he ignored and when Louis tried reasoning with him more he was turned down with a demand to stop it.

“You’re on a bed rest for a reason,” It was clear and obvious what Harry was implying, leaving Louis with no place to argue. “And if you try that again,” He spoke about Louis outburst in the supermarket when he was trying to leave. “I will tie you up to the bed and let you go for toilet breaks, am I clear, omega?”

Louis didn’t hate his nature as an omega, at least never this much. Whenever Harry addressed to him as an omega, it was clear that he was implying who was in charge and that would be fine, really, if he didn’t do that in an argument where they had to choose between two.

Somewhere behind all this Louis knew Harry was right and Harry was taking care of him but he hated the lack of compromise, he hated lack of understanding and he hated Harry because the threat was more than real. Not even for a second had Louis doubted that Harry could take all of this away, bring him back to the mansion, leaving him in bed until he was ready to give birth.

However, as it turned out hating and being with Harry in one tiny house wasn’t the best combination.

Harry obviously hated the place, which was at least some kind of support and made Louis love the place even more.

The house itself was in comparison big but tiny when you come from the place where they lived in. There was a lovely kitchen with all counters painted in baby blue – it gave Louis a sniff of that idyll – everything looked like from a beautiful description of a happy, normal family. The living room was the very exact replica of every living room you see in a British movie – few soft couches, fireplace, rug and soft wallpapers.

The only issue he found with it was the bedroom that was upstairs and right now he was spread on the couch in the living room, his body betraying him. Perhaps the visit to the hospital and shopping was too much for his body because his knees were killing him and his back was aching.

“At least you could’ve taken the jacket off,” Harry commented, leaning into the doorframe, scanning the room with judgment in his eyes.

Louis couldn’t forgive him how much out of place he looked like. Some part of him had hoped that his husband will be smart enough not to parade with a suit. But he did and looked stupid, like an outsider standing in the middle of a homey place. An intruder.

“So would you know, you look ridiculous,” Louis informed him, plopping himself down. “Wait, did you even bring anything else than a suit?”

“I’m not stupid, Louis, of course, I did.” Harry rolled his eyes, turning over his heel as if Louis question had been the biggest insult.

*

There were changes to happen between them as now they were relying on each other and only after Harry helped Louis upstairs to the bedroom did he realize how wrong it actually is.

Back in that mansion, one good thing was that whenever Louis was distressed or restless Harry was forced to shield him from those problems and now there weren't any reasons to demand Harry’s embrace. There weren’t any strangers in the house right now and Louis knew he was safe even if somewhere far away there were guards, ready to jump at the action if something happened.

Now, as he was settled on their too tiny bed, staring at Harry who was now putting away his one pair of jeans that he had brought for their stay (smart man, what can Louis say), Louis considered two things – a) he had to somehow force Harry to cuddle him and b) he needed to divorce the man because seriously – there were suits hanging in the closet and still Harry brought one pair of jeans to the village.

The world was coming to an end.

There isn’t a lot talking between them on that evening – same as always Harry excuses himself to do some work he had brought with himself and Louis is too tired to talk about anything so he stays in bed and falls asleep almost immediately after Harry sneaks into his side of the bad with the laptop he was carrying around the whole day.

And perhaps it’s a mistake, Louis thinks as few days pass and nothing changes.

Harry worked just as much as he always did and Louis was just as tired as always. But before their departure, they at least had some kind of a routine and the first night in this cabin, when he fell asleep, had cost him quite a lot since the new routine was set between the two and Louis wasn't exactly content with it.

Every morning he would wake up to the smell of breakfast and Harry would be cooking either eggs or something sweet like pancakes or French toast. Louis blamed the bond for it but each morning Harry would have provided the meal precisely fitting Louis' cravings.

Afterward, they would go on their own separate ways – Louis would nap or read on the couch in the living room and Harry would linger in the kitchen, doing business on his computer. Later on, they would think of something for lunch, cook it together and go for a walk after the meal, spending some time walking and that was the closest Louis felt to Harry, however, it never lasted for more than a handful of minutes as Louis always grew tired, his body too weak.

He was nearly making a scene about it, ready to confront Harry with a demand for things to change as situation clearly dissatisfied him. But then a change occurred on its own. Harry was known to be rather an ignorant one when it came to Louis unless something happened to him, then he would always jump into action, taking Louis by surprise with all the caring alpha would provide.

It was lunch time, or at least it was getting close to it, and it was a particularly good day. He woke up late, full of energy, and then napped after breakfast so he was more than eager to help Harry with the cooking. It almost reminded him of that time before they married each other, when they would have those kinda dates at Louis’ place, preparing a meal together, only two of them.

But differently from Louis' place in this cabin, there were tons of books left in the cupboards for guests to use and Louis picked one that just stuck to him as perfect recipe book full of comfort food. There was a meat pie and Louis had been craving for one, which was why Harry even bothered to get up and go to the supermarket to get the ingredients. They even had a dessert picked, which was more than strange for them. They were making rice pudding, which wasn’t even that much of a dessert but Louis wanted to make it from scratch, having this unusual craving for one, and Harry brought berries just for that.

Berries in January.

Fresh berries. In January.

Louis was living a dream, really.

He even allowed his mind to wander to that dreamy, foolish place, where he pictured his future exactly like that - him and Harry cooking, child sleeping or playing somewhere in the distance, then, while everything was cooking Harry would go out with their child, maybe all the of them would and then, on their return, food would be done, house smelling divine and girly squeals of happiness would fill the silence of the house.

Life is known to bring you unexpected when you are least expecting.

Louis was turning to grab some more milk to mix into the pudding when it happened.

Unexpected pull, more like a punch to a stomach, maybe more like bubbles popping out inside you and it was so unexpected and scary, Louis gasped in surprise, throwing the milk out of his hands, as he cupped his belly in his hands, milk splashing everywhere.

Harry was there in seconds, looking alarmed, eyes moving across the kitchen for a threat before he saw Louis tearing up and hurried to him.

“What happened?” He asked, looking attentively, ready to support Louis if he was to fall.

At first, it was hard for Louis to mumble out the coherent answer as he was so shaken by the sobs.

His baby has moved.

She kicked him.

She kicked him and now that she did, she didn’t seem to stop and once Harry heard that he plopped on his knees, touching Louis' belly, kissing it softly, his oversized hands landing on Louis' belly for really the first time and this is the moment.

The moment when Louis feels it. A family, a solid thing. Not some kind of imitation of something that’s never where it should be.

Tears prickled in his own eyes and he glanced down, grabbing one of Harry’s wrists because he needed to touch, he needed to hold on him. His other hand landed in Harry’s messy curls and when Harry nuzzled his face into Louis' belly, hugging him by the hips, Louis only steadied himself, holding onto Harry. Not letting go. Neither of them was letting go.

It was a truly remarkable moment and unbearably uncomfortable position but Louis found himself feeling the best he ever had.

Next thing he knew Harry was on his feet, clutching Louis face firmly, bringing their lips together.

A kiss.

More like a dizzy fantasy, a dream coming true.

Don’t get him wrong – he’s been kissed by Harry many times before and he enjoyed it endlessly but…

But there was that twinge of emotion, something completely idiotic you read only in books, yeah? How can you feel something in that one kiss, some soulmates alien thing? 'Remarkably special' - Louis would say in his mocking tone, but now joke was on him, now he knew.

That’s what happens, that's how.

The room is no longer a room, it’s an abstract shape they are stored in, everything around is flowing, electricity is making Louis' hair stand and the kiss is… It’s something different.

It’s a union, it’s a promise, it’s… It’s a lot and before Louis can register, he’s hugging Harry tightly, wanting him closer because this is not something he had ever felt.

His senses are brought to the whole new level and his heart is beating rapidly, his stomach is feeling funny and he can feel her.

He can feel her.

He’s sure it flows through their bond because the bond is everywhere, he cannot even tell his and Harry’s thoughts apart and this isn’t just joy or some kind of happy emotion.

It’s nothing like that.

Joy or happiness isn’t the right word, he’s not sure it’s happiness at all. It’s... It's all emotions all at once, everything, overwhelmingly emotional and they are so close, it’s divine feeling, so good it almost hurts.

He missed being kissed and he didn’t even know that he did, he missed being kissed that way even if he’d never been kissed like this before.

There is no way of telling if these emotions flowing over him are making even the slightest bit of sense but he’s not trying to think too deeply into it, he has Harry here and somewhere along the kissed he realizes that the hunger and adoration are not his emotions at all.

For the first time in his life, he’s shameless to spread his legs on the kitchen table, pulling Harry closer, demanding his alpha to satisfy their mutual hunger.

*

The starvation for each other leaves Louis in the living room as Harry softly kisses his forehead pulling away, much to Louis displease. He whines loudly, letting Harry know that and is given another row of soft kisses, all over his face, before his mate departs to the kitchen in need to check up on their food and clean up the milk Louis's splashed everywhere.

Talking is not an option right now as his lazy self is too egotistical to go against his own will, so he just sends Harry a soft twinge of thankfulness through their bond, hoping he’ll catch on what he means.

Harry returns not too soon after, his whole posture so ridiculous, Louis can’t help but find it endearing.

“We can go eat now if you’re hungry.” He speaks, voice raspy, shoulders relaxed, ridiculous hair, usually so collected and in place, all over his face now. He looks so much younger this way. Louis has to remind himself that Harry’s, in fact, thirty-five-year-old and he’s old now, he’s older than Louis, always had been. “You’re distantly quiet, are you alright?” Harry asks after moments pass and Louis stays completely silent.

“I want to make a DIY.” He says back, taking even himself by surprise because what the hell.

“You want to make a DI-what?”

“A DIY, a dreamcatcher, would you make it with me?” Harry blinked and Louis blushed, realizing how completely idiotic his words were but he can’t help his brain.

“Let’s go to eat, you must be hungry,” Harry replied instead, reaching out to grab Louis, softly pulling him up and then leading him to the kitchen.

*

Things change after that day.

Louis health is increasing in a flash speed, at least that’s what his doctor says on their visit two weeks later. Nowhere nearly to an actual healthy person that’s six months pregnant, but he progressed faster than they thought he will, faster than he did at first.

His body no longer reminded of a skeleton and even if it wasn’t exactly perfect, it was better.

Bed rest was no longer 24/7 and he didn’t need Harry’s lead to go upstairs or to the other rooms, he was even trusted the kitchen matters on his own, Harry no longer saw it necessary to linger around while Louis cooked something or boiled a tea, he was now capable of doing it without feeling dizzy.

Their daily walks were extended, few times they drove together to the market, grocery store and to the nearby village where they visited a random pub (the only one in that village, so…), where Louis found everything unappetizing even his favourite meals.

He ended up ordering what was unappealing but he knew he liked it so he went with it anyway. When it came, it smelled like a pile of shit and Louis almost gagged at the thought of it but then Harry went for a sandwich with pickles and Louis wanted that. He wanted that and he was stuck with what he had so his mood went foul and he nibbled around his roast, wanting nothing but to throw it away.

Harry, of course, noticed and when he asked Louis just shrugged saying it was fine.

“Will you cut the crap?” Harry saw right through Louis lie and before Louis could even pretend he had no idea what they were talking about, Harry switched their plates, which made Louis sad, angry and happy for way too many reasons.

It was heartwarming, really was. Harry showing attention, showing how much he cared and he really did everything he had to, making sure Louis didn’t lack anything. But then he was sad too because the pregnancy was hard and he couldn’t enjoy things he wanted to the fullest.

He spent the whole ride back silently sniffing away his tears and thanked the gods that Harry had the decency not to comment on it, not to ask anything. Instead, he showed his comfort by hugging Louis or resting his hand on Louis’ thigh, which was exactly what he needed.

Their relationship was turning into something different – definitely better but very much unexplored, which left them quite lost. Despite feeling good Louis had no idea what he was doing. Hell, sometimes even waking up and seeing Harry felt more awkward than not as he had no idea what to ask and what to tell.

They still avoided tough, serious topics such as why Louis ran, why he lied, why they were in this cottage, what they were going to do. Time was passing by, his due day was getting closer by days and yet they didn’t worry about it. Part of Louis knew that there was no reason to – they’ll have a roof above their heads no matter what but at the same time he was so worried that everything could turn bad, worse than before and then they really wouldn’t know how to change that.

There were two weeks left in this cottage and Louis was nowhere close wanting to leave. One month is the longest duration for rent they could scribble out of the landlord though he had a suspicion that Harry simply extended their stay already without telling Louis, which wouldn’t be the first time. But there it was. The fact that Louis didn’t know what was going on.

Communication was shit between them and even if their bodies were satisfied, the minds sometimes were not. Louis sometimes got the worrisome feeling of doubt that didn’t belong to him – it was Harry when joining him in bed, debating to reach out for Louis. He knew it was the other way around for Harry when major decisions or just decisions, in general, had to be taken. Just like a few nights ago when they were watching TV and advertisement came up ‘to create your own home for your family’ and Louis got so upset, thinking where will they be in a few months Harry changed the channel immediately.

So yeah, communication wasn’t that good between them, but it didn’t mean they weren’t trying to do something exciting.

Louis had been standing by the door for about five minutes before Harry had spotted him. He was simply stepping from the living room into the kitchen, based on Louis judgment to get a refill for his cup of coffee.

He froze in his spot once he noticed Louis, dressed in his outside attire, warm coat, gloves, shoes, and scarf on. Right about time, Louis thought because he was starting to get too warm for this charade to be continued.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” Harry asked, displease in his voice more than a statement in itself, which made Louis excited. So what if today he was feeling particularly cheeky, he might as well annoy Harry and get away with it (this had nothing to do with how he constantly woke up in an empty bed each morning).

“I’ve my driver’s license.” Louis blurted out and that was stupid.

Implying that you’re about to leave when you’re half on bed rest isn’t the smartest.

Doing it in a distant house, almost half an hour away from the closest spot, when it’s winter season and its cold outside is even worse.

But doing this in front of overly protective, a little bit paranoid and slightly bit possessive mate that Harry Styles is – it's the most idiotic idea you can ever get.

“You’ve your driver’s license?” Harry repeated stupidly, blinking at Louis as if he was the idiot and not him. Louis had a smart idea going on, okay? It’s Harry who can’t wrap his head around it. It has nothing to do with the fact that this time of the day is Louis nap time after breakfast. None at all.

“That’s what I said.” Louis nodded, continuing his sass just because.

Harry’s usually expressionless face turned into a slight glare and Louis bit his lip – it’s been a while since Harry had his glare directed at Louis, so no one can blame Louis if he felt thrown off by it.

“Tell me,” Harry spoke, taking a step closer, his posture tensed and alarmed as if he was ready to jump on Louis, catching him and dragging into the bedroom where he would restrain him for the next three months. “What are you planning to do with it?”

Ignoring the slight panic that was about to arise, Louis sighed as if Harry was an idiot and tried his best not to smirk when Harry got confused as if he himself was missing something.

“I’m planning to take your credit card and go grocery shopping.”

There was a silence and Louis knew Harry well enough to know that the only reason there was silence was that his husband avoided repeating what Louis said one more time.

It’s almost comical how Harry settles for a simple “Excuse me?”

“Oh my god, Harold!” Louis exasperated, crossing his arms in displeasing. “Get on a schedule, I’m going grocery shopping and I need money because I have no idea where’s mine so, unless you’re planning to be an asshole, give me money because your wallet is not in your jacket.”

“I don’t understand.” Harry finally admitted and Louis controlled his laughter because welcome to his world, where whatever that’s happening is kept away from you and then you’re suddenly late for something you never knew was a thing at all. “Are we supposed to go somewhere?”

This is the lowest Louis had ever seen Harry go and he snorted, not able to hide his amusement any longer. The glare was replaced by confusion and Harry’s green eyes looked too wide, too innocent.

“I want to go alone,” Louis demanded and he wanted for others to see right this moment, right this expression on Harry’s face – the poor guy looked so lost Louis almost pitied him, almost cackled and apologized.

“You should already know that there’s no way I’m willing to let you go alone.”

“When I’m going grocery shopping?”

“I don’t care where you want to go, you’re not going alone.” It was an order. Even if it didn’t sound like it, this was an order for Louis to stay right in his place, sweating through this thick layer of clothes while he waited for Harry to join him. His plan was being spoiled but for what he put Harry through, Louis was buying that.

Contemplating going outside, Louis sighed at the sight of Harry’s return – he was wearing jeans (thankfully) but the top of his clothing was a dress shirt, hideous one, and Louis was not going anywhere until he changed that.

“Stop that,” Harry pointed at him, probably sensing his distaste as Louis tried telling him to go change through their bond. “Don’t forget who’s in charge here.” He added and this was a wrong move.

Maybe a few weeks ago, maybe even yesterday this would have worked but not today. Today Louis was feeling rebellious and so he will be rebellious, he will be sassy, hard to deal with, he'll be all those things and he won’t accept any authority.

He didn’t know what exactly he’ll do to make it bad for Harry but he was working on it. He glared the whole way to the car at Harry, snapping when he tried to take Louis hand into his.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Louis almost growled, tugging his arm and going straight to driver’s seat.

“Louis, I can’t let you drive no matter how much you want it.” Harry stood tall and firm, blocking Louis’ the door.

“I want to drive.” He declared instead, eyes wide and blue. He’ll cry if he had to.

“I know you do and I would let you but we have to be reasonable.” He put his hands on Louis' shoulders, looking him in the eye, being reasonable.

Louis hated him. Louis hated him and he hated how he was right so he did the only thing he knew – he started crying.

“Louis…” Harry’s voice was softer now, bringing Louis for a hug. “I know you want to drive and there is no reason I would say no, not this time, not now but please understand that this way we would be putting in danger a lot, yeah?”

Louis hid his embarrassment in Harry’s chest and sniffed a couple of times before his sadness passed away.

“I still want to drive.” He pouted, feeling childish but his emotions had taken over.

“I know, I know you do.” Harry smiled softly leading him into the passenger’s seat and pressing a kiss on his forehead before retreating to drive the car to that damned supermarket.

Harry kept the conversation flowing all through the drive, completely avoiding the number one question Louis knew he had – why they were driving to the supermarket in the first place was very unclear for Harry but Louis avoided reacting to it or telling him the answer either way.

Once the car was stopped Louis jumped out, excited.

“So…” Harry trailed off, following Louis lead, curious as to why they were here.

“I need to go alone, money,” Louis demanded, offering Harry his empty hand with the expectation to get what he’s asked for.

There was definitely inner fight going on with Harry as he stared at Louis unsurely, probably thinking of a nicer way to turn him down.

“How about I give you fifteen minutes and then wait for you by the cashier?” He compromised and Louis was going to take it.

It was a lot more than he expected to get in the first place so he grinned and nodded in agreement, turning over his heel and leaving Harry behind. There was a list of products he had to get so he was in a rush, not doubting that if he was late by one minute Harry would either go on the search himself or get people working in here to do that, which would be too embarrassing to even try pushing it that far.

Managing to snatch everything in a span of fifteen minutes Louis proudly stood by the cashier, waiting for her to scan everything as Harry stared at their new purchases in surprise.

“You wanted to make a cake?” He asked and Louis gasped, grabbing a chocolate cake’s mixture box from his hands, burying it deep into the bag, glaring at Harry for spoiling the surprise.

“No.” He grumbled, throwing everything else before Harry could even register what the items were.

“Is it for me?”

“Why would I make a chocolate birthday cake for you, Harry?” Louis looked at Harry stupidly, giving the bag for Harry to care.

It had nothing to do with Harry at all. Not even in the slightest. And the fact that tomorrow was his birthday was a small detail no one cared about. It was not like Louis’ actions were based on a celebration that took place the next day.

Once Harry caught up on that small smile was visible on his face and Louis glared at that stupid dimple on his right cheek, thinking to poke it with a knife.

“If you don’t stop acting like an idiot I’ll make you bake it yourself,” Louis warned him – it got Harry to stop smirking or at least not so visible.

*

The cake, Louis intended to bake, was made early in the morning. He actually woke up before Harry and smiled at the revenge – he’ll know now how much it sucks to wake up alone in bed, sheets cold and your mate gone.

Early in the morning actually meant around 6 whilst he knew Harry would wake up around 8 o’clock and he was not wrong. He was placing the cake in the fridge, done with all the frosting and decorating, happy birthday written over the cake with scrappy letters but heart Louis added on top of the cake compensated for it.

As expected Harry got shitless scared waking up alone and Louis heard him coming frantically from the upstairs as he wasted no time at least attempting not to be too loud. He hurriedly searched through the living room and Louis might be a little bit evil but he quite enjoyed this situation so he leaned into the counter, where the view was open to Harry, who was looking like an idiot from where he stood. Louis entertained himself for the full minute until Harry stepped into the kitchen looking a mixture of too many emotions, Louis sent amusement through their bond.

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Styles?” Louis smirked and for a second Harry looked furious until he sighed and shook his head, probably deciding that it wasn’t worth a fight. Smart man, if you ask Louis.

 “When did you wake up?” Harry asked, moving across the kitchen to make coffee for himself and probably Louis too. At first, there was no end to listening Harry grumble how there was no coffee machine for his sour ass espresso but somehow he looked completely fine with what he had in here now. Top quality Louis ass.

“Early, you were snoring.”

Corners of Harry’s lips shot upwards as he stared at Louis one more time, arching his brow in surprise.

“I did?”

“Mhm.” Louis nodded, looking at how smoothly with no questions he prepared another cup for Louis too. The next step would be milk and before Harry turned to the fridge for that, Louis stopped him. “I made a cake for you.”

He tried hiding his pride and excitement away from their bond but of course, his omega jumped excitedly, taking even Louis by surprise. That little bitch sometimes pissed Louis off, really.

“How unexpected.” Harry pretended to gasp and Louis glared at him before going to the fridge and taking out the cake, putting it on the table.

Harry inspected it, his eyes reading through the words ‘YOU’RE OLD’ – Louis was too vain of it, to be honest. This was genius and he hadn’t made a cake since he went back to visit his mother for her birthday.

“It’s chocolate.” Louis smiled innocently – it’s not like chocolate was his favorite and not Harry's. Not at all. “Happy birthday.” He added and this was what got to Harry.

He blinked at Louis his face not showing as much emotion as he felt through their connection. Surprise and happiness were probably number one.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered, pulling Louis closer for a hug.

“You’re getting old,” Louis mumbled into his chest.

It was getting harder to hug each other – the belly got in the way as it was progressively getting bigger. Big enough for Louis to feel it necessary to apply the lotion, supposedly saving him from stretch marks. They weren't very noticeable, in fact, there wasn't a lot of them at all as his belly was big but due to his weight loss not that big but still, the thought of having them was quite infuriating. However, hugging and not being able to find a position was even more frustrating.

On that occasional cuddling that was now a thing for them Louis would have to be hugged from behind and it wasn’t his favorite position, however, the other way his body was placed uncomfortably, not able to curl around Harry the way it used to, which was why now Louis stood awkwardly a little bit turned to one side as Harry hugged him close to his chest.

“We’re getting old together,” Harry replied simply and it was probably his way of mocking Louis back but… But it was the entirely different thing for him now. Probably for Harry too.

They were growing old together, even if today was not old, if you thought about it then it actually was. It was them growing old together, it was them together and Louis mewled out a very strange noize, glancing up, obliging for a kiss.

*

Birthday cake ceremony didn’t specifically change everything between them.

The world didn’t turn upside down.

Louis still woke up to an empty bed but as a compensation, he had breakfast, waiting for him every morning so he could live with it.

Between them, things were changing, even if slowly, taking its time. They weren’t strangers like they used to be, Harry was much more acquainted to Louis emotions now and Louis knew for sure that he could lean into Harry, which was exactly what he needed for his health increasement.

They were under mutual need and attraction, arousal taking over both of them at various times of the day - late in the evenings, sometimes even during Louis’ naps, they would end up doing some other things than just sleeping. The only exception from how it used to be was the fact that it was… Different. What used to be based on a pure lust was now a lot more sweet, soft and memorable. Hugs and kisses, soft laughs, they shared when one or another said something stupid – it was endearing and changes made Louis so happy, he was actually getting that pregnancy glow.

Harry didn’t take long to take a notice in it and the new development, of course, transformed him too.

It's on that next visit to the doctor's, followed by a lecture his therapist is giving him, that Louis realizes why. He’s commanded to take a short course about pregnancy, omega and alpha relationship and he… Well, let's just say that he wasn’t the best student in high school so alpha/beta/omega health classes weren’t his top priority, he didn’t even pass that class the first time. And as it turned out - he didn't know a lot of things about the bond, the chemistry and especially the chemistry of soulmates.

As it turned out he should have known all those things and if he had then a lot of bad stuff would have been avoided and stopped from happening, his runaway being one of those things. Apparently, it’s in alphas nature to protect omegas, to accept omegas wishes. Sometimes it can mean that alpha won’t be completely rational when complying with his Omega and Louis choked on revelation as this meant Harry wasn’t an exception. He was assured of that after trying to argue with the therapist a few times about it. And not only that but as they were soulmates Harry's logical part of the brain could go off instantly after something happened to his omega. And Louis was his omega.

Harry was his soulmate, probably even more than Louis had been Harry’s and alpha lived on providing, which made… A lot more sense.

All those times when Harry would drag him to the clubs or did things he knew Louis didn’t like – he was pushing him to act out and give Harry demands to follow and… And now all those things Louis thought he knew and spent his time believing in them, they were now sounding like pure lies. It’s nothing new that throughout his childhood he didn’t see a good example – his biological father fucked off before Louis could even know how he looked like and his stepfather, later on, had been a beta, same as Dan. His mother was omega herself but she married and mated a beta, so what he knew wasn’t much.

Harry’s grandparents were alpha and omega, his parents' both betas but Harry spent a lot of time with his grandparents when growing up, he knew how that worked. He witnessed it with his own eyes whilst Louis had his own opinion formed on bad quality porn and a few idiotic films he had seen. And maybe the world treating his omega mother very unfairly if that counts as one.

Omegas had as much to do with the bond as alphas, if not more. Surprisingly they were considered to be care-takers in the bond and Louis was the opposite of it. He’s assured that care-takers can mean a lot of things and there’s nothing wrong with Harry doing more of the cooking or Louis not enjoying the house cleaning. Louis had never been the normal and basic omega, which was why their chemistry worked so well in the first place, however, he spent his time thinking that whatever the situation was – he was the one not to have a say in it as alpha was the decision maker.

This was more than a mistake he had made in their relationship and he knew that Harry being Harry was too stubborn to back down when arguments ensued, confirming Louis belief.

Louis never really tried persuading Harry into doing something for him, he rarely demanded for anything and those few times when he did stand up for himself, it was to fight. They fought and Louis never tried that again, afraid that he’ll get hurt. Instead, he adjusted, somehow distancing himself from his mate and trying to keep his own life going on as Harry turned out to be just an adjustment but not a new life page.

And then, that one sit down session is very quickly extended into a few hours lecture. He’s given so much information, he doubts he can absorb it all. Harry’s annoyance is felt through bond and he stops himself from sending emotions back because instantly he starts to feel guilty, which as he was told wasn’t logical at all.

Harry’s anger was supposed to mirror his annoyance that his mate was kept away from him, it had nothing to do with Louis… And it took Louis by surprise because if that’s how it was then a lot of his beliefs were wrong.

He wants to ask the file with information not to be given to Harry this time but he realizes he’s wrong when he’s given a ‘no’ and is informed that Harry will have to have a talk with a therapist too. The panic attack he had afterward was clearly no help at all.

Harry initiated the talk.

It was on their way back that he decided to tackle the problem and he brought it on calmly, which Louis was very thankful for though it didn’t mean that his heart didn’t skip a beat in anxiousness.

“Why didn’t you want for me to view your file?” Harry asked innocently, eyes on the road and Louis felt that out of all the things he could’ve asked this wasn’t number one on Louis’ list.

Also, Louis did not know the answer. Supposedly, soulmates were inclined to absolute reveal, they made it sound like it wasn’t possible to have anything private when they were soulmates and it made Louis feel odd, but this was not enough for Harry, he knew only one sentence wouldn’t satisfy him though it didn’t mean Louis won’t try.

“I don’t know,” He admitted, glancing at Harry hoping not to get any twinge of annoyance though he was sure there was some, Harry must have decided to block his feelings. “I don’t see why-…” This was harder than he thought it will be. “I just don’t think that you should know this much.” He finally settled for a simple answer.

Harry nodded, which made Louis hope this will be enough. That was a foolish thought.

“Why?”

The question was more of a demand even if Harry didn’t try it to make it sound like it and Louis gulped, feeling uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure he wanted Harry to know why. “I don’t know.”

Yeah, nice try.

“You are imposing that you don’t want me to know how you’re doing on your health then? We’re mated, Louis.” Displease was so clear in Harry’s voice, Louis omega whimpered - a weird mixture of bad emotions and it’s surprising really, how Harry keeps still as even Louis cringes on this new wave of sadness.

“I’m saying that I just don’t understand why you have to know everything.” He remarked, pretending it didn’t happen. This was called distress and Louis had been dealing with it on his own, it’s not like he needed Harry to scent him or cuddle him.

“We are husbands, Louis, I have a right to know.” Louis couldn’t help but snort at the absurd remark as if that gave Harry the right to invade Louis’ personal life.

Suddenly they were about having rights and all that perfect textbook shit, it humored him, really. Since day one Louis was the one who had his rights invaded and violated – no one talked about it back then but now suddenly he brings that up, of course, when it concerned him and not Louis because why not.

“Of course you do.” Louis huffed under his breath, turning his head at the window, feeling done with this discussion.

“I don’t get it, why are you making a big deal out of it? I’m your mate, for god’s sake! It’s my right, it’s my duty to know!” Harry snapped, which even if Louis will never admit to him – scared him shitless. They can teach him and give him idiotic lectures all they want but he will forever be scared of what Harry can do when he’s angry.

Louis had been a witness to roughness too many times without his own choice. Snorting cocaine, shooting guns at the walls, threatening with death – he had seen it all in that mansion, god he had been woken up by the shotgun a few times. Even now when during New Year’s celebration when fireworks happened he humored Harry as his heartbeat jumped up and down drastically, making him think that Louis feared fireworks. He didn’t. It just sounded like a ton of shotguns going off at once but Harry didn’t have to know that.

“Well it’s not like they didn’t show you anyway, so why are you still so worried about it?” It was tempting to shout back at Harry and Louis would, he really would, according to that lecture he even should but… What if Harry tried to put Louis in place? What if he tried hurting him? Louis was pregnant, it was too risky.

“I just don’t get it! Whenever I feel that we’re taking a step forward it’s like two backwards and I don’t understand you. It’s like you demand one thing to happen and when it does you leave me in the dark to figure it out what it is that you want.” Harry talked calmly though his annoyance was more than anger. Louis chest burnt in shame – he was a failure.

It was pointless now trying to hide the feelings, they were in such a small space and at times it could be masked by Louis pretending someone was rude to him but the feeling of failure was undeniable now and Harry clearly got a sniff of it, which was so embarrassing.

“Louis…” Harry trailed off, different emotions in his voice as he sent something that was supposed to calm him through their bond.

“What? I’m a failure of an omega, am I not?” He whispered and he hated how Harry got to see him so vulnerable. “I don’t even know how to be one, apparently.” He sniffed, avoiding Harry’s eyes like a plague, the least he wanted right now was to see whatever Harry had to offer, he felt like a joke already.

A hand softly landed on Louis' shoulder, showing his comfort even though Louis could have done fine without it.

“Do you want me to stop the car?” Harry suggested but Louis just shook his head, stopping the car meant confrontation, he’d rather postpone it until their home or maybe until never, thank you very much.

Harry is kind enough to comply, moving the hand away, turning his eyes back on the road, silence lingering between them though there was nothing comfortable about it, he knew once they were back home, he’ll be interrogated like there’s no tomorrow. He really should have stayed silent about this whole thing.

*

For the first time, returning back to the cottage wasn't exciting at all. In fact, he’d rather be back in that mansion than returned back here, especially when he knew 'the talk’ will be a must, pushing the silence away, and that wasn’t ideal for Louis, to say the least.

“Let’s talk,” Harry said once they had taken their coats off and gathered in the kitchen to have usually so normal tea ceremony – hot beverage during the winter time when they returned from somewhere was the tradition they kept having during their stay in the cottage.

“What do you want me to say?” Louis crossed his arms over his chest defensively, looking at the teapot, which never attracted his attention more than now.

Harry huffed, frustration filling Louis body as Harry didn’t bother to share feelings through their bond. Well, now he could, Louis thought as he tried making himself smaller, avoiding Harry until two strong hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer into Harry’s body and Louis whined, scared of something unpredictable.

“Are you happy with me?” Harry asked and Louis' eyes went wide, blinking in surprise as he dared to look at Harry.

His green eyes were pleading, very different from what Louis was used to. It’s like he dreaded to know the answer and Louis felt guilty at the same time as shocked.

Louis took a step back, leaning back into the counter before he spoke. “They told me it’s alphas nature to want a family.” He tackled the least of Harry’s concerns now and he kind of knew that but this was what threw him off the most during that little education time he received and he blinked at Harry, waiting for the answer.

“It is,” Harry confirmed and Louis bit his lip.

“Even for you?” He asked uncertainly and Harry frowned.

“What do you mean even for me?” He asked exasperated, probably insulted and Louis didn’t believe that it was really just that simple. “We’re soulmates, we’re married, we’re supposed to be.” Harry glared at him as Louis stared back his mouth open.

“I didn’t know.” Louis offered an explanation and Harry’s expression turned sour as if he was appalled even by the thought such feeling would be possible. “My father was an alpha, he had no problem with it.” He explained, glancing at his mug of tea, thinking of sipping it even though he would probably burn his tongue.

“Your father?” Harry asked curiously because it’s not like Louis ever told him about this anyway.

“My biological father, he… I never met him really, he left before I could, you know…”

“And then you, what, thought I will do the same to you? As your soulmate?” Harry was definitely grueling at the thought of Louis assuming so low of him but in reality, this was very much accurate so Louis just bit his lip, staring at the cup again. Maybe burning his tongue didn’t look as bad now. “Louis.” Harry’s voice was showing a sign of alpha in there and Louis hated how he had to answer now.

“No, I didn’t. I thought, instead of leaving, you will force me into having an abort and then lock me up somewhere as some kind of punishment - you did that with all the others, so, why would I be an exception?” He knew he wasn’t wrong at least about the second part of the answer – Harry’s face showed understanding as Louis mentioned exactly why would he doubt in Harry’s actions back then.

The truth rolled down his tongue and he felt like revealing the biggest secret existing on earth. It was so personal, it was so… Buried deep in him as he tried to ignore all the fear even if it lingered in him. Sometimes even now he would wake up in the morning, doubting if it’s really that simple him and Harry happy, no one hurting him or the baby.

Harry clearly fought the neediness to come closer to Louis, probably scent him or hug him as he respectfully kept his distance from him, looking attentively at Louis.

“Someone told you about that, huh?” Harry sighed, surprising Louis because really, was the scary man that naïve to believe they didn’t? People in that mansion loved drama and especially when they had the ability to interfere in his and Harry’s private businesses (another reason why Louis never wanted to be there). “I can assure you it’s not how it looks like, you must have heard a lot worse than it really had been. The woman that visited you is crazy, she… She worked with me and then she got infused high on drugs, it drove her mad and inevitably she had a miscarriage. I never even dated her closely and according to the results the DNA results didn’t match mine, so-.”

“And those others?” Louis interrupted now feeling conflicted. He should be able to tell Harry apart if he lied but he still wasn’t completely sure about it. You are supposed to tell when your mate, soulmate isn’t honest with you, work it out through your bond but Louis didn’t know. He spent so much time believing in different things, he was so lost now.

“Others?” Harry’s eyebrows shot upwards, he probably didn’t know about the talks happening behind his back and how Louis became a victim of few dramatic talks back then when the assault had happened.

“Yes, they told me there were two other women.” Louis shrugged as if it didn’t bother him and Harry hummed.

Somehow Louis felt like he wasn’t allowed to be asking that and he knew it was not only in his knowledge when Harry pulled him closer for a hug. His omega purred at the closeness, letting Louis body relax, which was very unfair, he shouldn’t be needing Harry to soothe his nerved.

“There was a woman I had dated seriously, enough to think about mating,” Harry admitted, which wasn’t that surprising. Louis dated tons of people before Harry too, it’s not like they were young and inexperienced. “She got pregnant but it was her choice that she didn’t want it and it was probably a good choice, I couldn’t have seen a family life with her, so she made her choice and I made sure she had a comfortable life in her chosen destination.”

Out of the whole explanation Louis picked out the tiniest detail, probably the one Harry didn’t even think about and he peered up at his alpha, biting his lip before asking the question. “Do you see a family life with me?” He asked unsure if he could accept the negative answer but he dared to ask that anyway.

“You’re ridiculous, of course, I do.” Harry snorted as if Louis should never have had doubts like that in the first place though he did. He really did and he didn’t find his question as amusing as Harry did.

“You don’t even like kids, Harry,” Louis argued and he could feel Harry tensing up. He wasn’t being fair, probably not but he saw Harry in school, when he came to pick Louis up and he looked far from liking them, how could Louis know he’ll like their daughter?

“Louis, it’s my daughter, my blood. It’s something we both had created, I’ll not just love her, I’ll cherish her and put her first in my life no matter what.” The determination in his voice was something so sweet, so pure and Louis being in his hormonal stage of pregnancy sniffed. It was so sweet of Harry to say and it was the most affection he had put in one sentence since Louis had met him. “I may not know how to do it but I want her,” Harry confirmed one more time and Louis whined, hiding his emotional expression in his mate’s chest. “Omega.” Harry purred lowly, grabbing onto Louis’ thighs, pulling him closer, arousal spreading through their bodies and bond.

At least this time they managed to carry the neediness upstairs.

*

Their talk is never mentioned again for the next week and Louis dared to ask only one thing – will they have to return back to the mansion once the whole month ends. Harry made sure he didn’t want it before confirming that he had extended their stay in this tiny house and every day Louis got closer to asking where they should be living once he gives birth.

To Louis surprise, Harry brought it up before he did.

It was early in the morning and to his own luck he woke up early enough to witness Harry’s presence. He was actually about to leave when Louis rolled over, splaying himself over his chest, cuddling him closer, demanding not to leave.

“Breakfast can wait.” He moaned, poking Harry’s nipple with the top of his nose.

The playfulness was a fairly recent thing for them, especially for Louis, less for Harry though his sad attempts of flirting were quite appreciated – it’s the thought that counts or so it is said and Louis hid his amusement behind his giggles whenever Harry tried initiating something humorous.

Enjoying tiny crumbles of attention he decided that today will be a good day once Harry’s slender fingers brushed through his hair, combing them softly despite that they were disheveled and all over the place from that late night shower Louis’ took last night. They should do this more often, he decided, promising to never let Harry go, which was pointless because alpha’s duty got the better of him and once Louis' bladder forced him out of bed, Harry flew into the kitchen, returning with plates of food, insisting that keeping Louis fed was more than just a simple rule Harry had to follow.

“We can have breakfast in bed today.” Harry bargained, avoiding Louis anger – these days even the tiniest thing could spark furry in his pregnant husband so Harry even if enjoying the tiny man running around, ordering him, still preferred to keep his life stress free.

Louis agreed but only after giving Harry a threatening glare, just in case. Harry was getting less and less bothered by them anyway and Louis did them more and more once he figured out nothing will happen for him if he did so.

His experiment was very widely used in practice in this household recently as he literally tried teasing and even pissing Harry off, demanding things he would have never dared before, feeling like he was pushing the boundaries, which Harry accepted and dealt with. They were re-writing the whole ‘behaving around each other’ rulebook even without doing it on purpose.

They were getting better at this too. Harry was more open and affectionate, something Louis never saw happening and at the same time, Louis was letting himself open up a lot more, expressing himself loudly rather than just sucking it up and adjusting like he used to do.

A few months ago he wouldn’t have bashed an eyelash at Harry leaving him alone in bed, going to work, hell, even two weeks ago he wasn’t expressing his disappointment but now he demanded him to stay like it was a completely normal thing for him to do that, which was… All couples loved having a few long mornings in bed, doing nothing but it was never in the picture for them, it was never… Like that for them, and Louis was surprised he had this in his life now. He had this with Harry and Harry had this with him and alpha seemed just as pleased as Louis was when they shared plates of food, talking about how they slept and what did they want to do for the rest of the day.

Harry even offered Louis to rub his feet, they were swollen now and added up to that pile of problems he suffered from. However, this was so sweet of Harry that Louis teared up as he accepted the offer, enjoying attention and affection.

Everything was perfect.

Harry clearly wanted to keep it that way as he asked Louis about the future of this trip after ending his feet rub and letting Louis cuddle him.

“You know, it’s less than two weeks until the rent is over.” He brought it up and Louis stopped breathing so calmly as he thought about going back to that mansion and losing what he had here with Harry. “Do you maybe want to buy this place?” He added and Louis looked up at him, surprised Harry even thought of asking. “We can do it if you want,” Harry added and Louis' heart fluttered.

We.

They.

Together.

Two of them.

He shouldn’t be crying.

But he was. Tears were such an often occurrence it didn’t even surprise any of them by now just same as now as he shook his head, surprising Harry because Louis never hid his love to this place.

“I want us to build something new.” He whispered, admitting his biggest fantasy he recently had. “Or maybe buy something and make it our own.”

This.

This was the thing Louis dreamt of since he was a kid. Of a homey tiny place that would be home for his family.

Well, maybe not tiny as Harry clearly had a very specific taste for things but at least for a place that didn’t carry tons of strangers 24/7 and was more of an office building with few bedrooms rather than a home.

They had security and staff chambers in the underground and first floor, they had different wings in that mansion and it was too big. It was too big and too cold and too empty and even if Louis loved the authenticity of it, living there was like living in a constantly busy museum, people had to go through security and metal detectors sometimes, Louis had done it few times until he got so angry at it he literally walked passed guards and had been stopped roughly, which ended in a very rough way.

The guard was a new guy and Louis being Louis walked around the place not being buddies with anyone (unlike others) so he looked unfamiliar and was asked to go through the full procedure of security check. Like in a fucking airport, before entering the house, in the middle of October, when he was tired and had a stressful day at work. The last straw was when he was asked to take out his belt and he gathered his belongings, intending to walk through any other entrance.

He was stopped from doing that roughly and was pushed back when he tried arguing. Luckily he didn’t fall or wasn’t hurt because someone was smart enough to tell Harry what was going on and needless to say Harry was pissed. Louis never saw the guy again, he was probably fired. He didn’t want his daughter, their daughter to see it. He wanted to live where things were different.

“I can’t build a house in just a few months,” Harry argued and Louis huffed because if someone was capable of impossible it was Harry. “Why don’t we look into something already there and try making it our own, huh? Do you know what you want?”

Louis didn’t know. Not yet at least but he appreciated that Harry didn’t jump at the chance to offer something he wouldn’t want. Instead, he nodded, offering to do some research and figure it out together.

“Can we stay here until then?”

Everything but returning to that hellhole worked for him. For all he knew once they were back there people would take this Harry away from him and even if they didn’t, Louis wasn’t ready to get back to those rules and house full of people.

Harry’s words turned out to be a promise more than anything else and he even started rushing Louis into the research, like he himself wanted it more than Louis did.

And perhaps he did. Knowing that his mate was content and happy made alpha stronger, made him feel like he was doing the right thing and now, after all that's happened, Harry’s alpha was not so happy, not when it was made so obvious that Louis spent the last three years in the marriage not being fully satisfied with his soulmate.

Harry felt bad about his actions and how he failed to pay more attention to omega’s needs. He grew up in a household that cherished omegas, he grew up in the house where alpha and omega meant union so strong no one could break them. His grandparents set an amazing example and they weren’t soulmates, and still, his grandpa did it better than Harry and it killed him.

Knowing that Louis was miserable was wrong and Harry used to be able to avoid the feeling, avoid the connection and bond. It didn’t affect him much because Louis had that mask of always being okay, of always being fine. Harry felt content only because Louis did and now he knew that it wasn’t right. Louis wasn’t like the omega Harry was used to seeing. Where he’s from omega is strong, omega is the ruler of the house, the leader of the household whilst alpha goes out to provide with resources. Omega for him always associated with the person that makes decisions for the family and that’s where he messed up.

That’s where they messed up and now they were making it right.

“What about the penthouse?” Louis huffed, pointing at one right in the heart of London. “It’s pretty, though I think I want to have a garden too?”

Harry hummed, leaning in, pressing a kiss on Louis' cheek, feeling proud as the omega leaned closer to him. Louis was wearing his sweater now. His belly was getting bigger by the day if not hours, however, it made the omega increasingly worse as the back pains hadn’t substituted at all. Harry was taking him to massage and pregnancy yoga twice a week (much to Louis’ complaints) but even if his husband avoided telling him, he still noticed the extra slowness Louis had and how difficult it was for him to move.

“Or maybe a rooftop could compensate the garden?” Harry didn’t even bother replying as Louis carried on talking, he simply nodded when needed, paying attention more to Louis’ then the places. He will look through them later when it will be really necessary, right now he wanted to let Louis wander with his choices before saying something and keeping him back from reaching out to what he actually wanted.

“Harry!” Louis whined, his blue eyes full of displease, lips forming in the sweetest pout Harry had ever witnessed and he thanked heavens that Louis had no idea how much power he had over him.

Right now he could even get him to look away into the computer screen, scanning what Louis was searching through.

“You’re right,” He nodded, examining the website. “We should look into a house so we can have a garden and some nature rather than living in the city center.” If he was being honest and not just saying what Louis wanted to hear – he didn’t actually care. As long as he had his family with him he was fine with basically anything to live in. Right now, even this small cottage looked beautiful for him. This place made him happier than an expensive mansion. Harry always thought was making Louis happy with the luxurious surroundings. He was a fool. Luxury and money had nothing to do with it at all and yesterday when he was doing the laundry, which Louis thought him how to do a few weeks ago, he still felt happier than when he was in his office, drinking imported whiskey after a long day.

“Great! I looked into the houses, here.” Louis clicked the mouse jumping onto another page, showing the results of his research proudly – he was clearly proud of it, Harry couldn’t understand why. “What do you think?” He smiled and Harry hummed, blinking at the screen.

“It looks homey.” Hideous. It looked hideous and Harry has to stop himself from running to fetch his phone and calling the interior designer to fix whatever place out of this pile of bad they are going to pick.

“You don’t like it,” Louis concluded, seeing right through him, which isn’t surprising. Harry had his guard down for a while now, being around Louis all the time he even got louder as he was always demanded an expression of all sorts. The disgust must be written all over his face.

“I don’t hate it.” He wasn’t stupid. Denying such an accusation was the way to save his life and if Louis liked it, Harry will like it too. “Maybe it’s lacking a tiny bit or decorating suitable to our tastes but otherwise I think it’s pretty great.”

“Fine, I’ll keep researching.”

“Lou, I-“

“Go make lunch, Harry,” Louis demanded, not turning his head away from the computer screen as he pretended to be pissed off.

Harry loved him.

*

Apparently when you are pregnant sleeping isn’t your best friend. Not even a distant relative, not even a hated enemy – it’s fucking impossible and Louis got to experience it first hand.

Not even feet rub or the back massage he received from Harry could help as he kept churning and turning throughout the whole night, never falling into a dreamless sleep.

Harry had been getting constantly frightened by those nightmares Louis woke up from every night, scared shitless, going straight to the toilet to empty out his stomach. It’s not like he didn’t sleep at all, he did but it wasn’t a peaceful whole night sleep. He kept waking up, kept having nightmares and he noticed how even Harry had problems sleeping as he woke up at least once or twice from Louis kicking him in bed or rolling around non-stop.

Louis couldn’t help himself so instead he offered Harry to just stay downstairs on the couch or let Louis stay there but one Harry’s glare – not just a glare but _the_ glare – the one, who made others shiver, was enough for Louis to quit on worrying and quit on attempting to fall asleep as it was happening whenever against his own will.

Yesterday he fell asleep during their lunch, he literally fell asleep over the table, spoon still in his hand – last time he saw, this was Harry’s new screen picture (who could have thought man in his thirties could be so childish, really), however, the day before Louis slept five hours through the whole span of 24 hours and it wasn’t like him as he was used to sleeping throughout most of the day.

So yeah, sleeping wasn’t as easy as it used to be so no one should be surprised when he ‘woke up’ to another nightmare – a new one but still a nightmare.

It happened constantly – him dreaming about waking up and something being wrong, terribly wrong. This time everything happened right where he had fallen asleep and this was what threw him off.

There was a person standing in the doorway, the door opened and Louis just blinked before closing his eyes again, hoping it will stop. He experienced dreaming about himself waking up belly-less, however, he never dreamt about the process of it happening and his heart pace was speeding up.

He blinked, feeling like he was actually waking up, and the silhouette had moved, it was standing right next to Louis side of the bed, one or two steps away from him, gloves on his hands, gun in his right.

There was no way of telling but right at that moment, Louis realized that it wasn’t a dream and everything happened so quickly he couldn’t actually register it.

He gasped, perhaps even screamed for Harry when the figure jumped at him, closing his mouth and Louis felt the gun digging into his face, cold metal going up, stopping at his temple. It didn’t make him doubt – it was a loaded gun and now Louis could see that the man was wearing a mask, only eyes open for him to see – it was dark, black eyes and this was how he was ending his life.

Next thing is a bang and Harry will wake up to him dead.

He closed his eyes again, praying for this to be only a dream but the feeling didn’t go away and pinching himself only proved reality.

“Hey, little princess.” The voice of a male spoke and Louis had tears rolling down his eyes, he felt the gun going down on him, man removing blanket with his gun and Louis jumped when cold metal touched his thigh, thinking he’ll be shot when the guy makes another move.

It could be still a dream.

A very realistic one but a dream.

The sound of a gunshot going off was it and there is no life flashing behind your eyes.

There’s nothing at all. It’s just plain scary and you don’t feel it at first.

The sound of a gunshot going off happened twice and still, no life flashing behind your eyes, however, worries of what you’re leaving behind, filled Louis head with horror.

Even if you hear it and you know it you don’t feel it first, which Louis knew for a fact and he was scared to look down at the damage.

His leg.

It had to be his leg. What if it was his belly? It went off twice.

Until your brain sees it, you don’t know it, you don’t feel it.

What if he was dying now, what if he got seconds to live?

Will he ever see his daughter alive? Will he be alive to see it? Will Harry protect her? Will he be able to kiss Harry one more time?

“Louis? Louis, look at me, baby, look at me.” Harry was calling him.

There were hands on his body but he was shaking too hard to concentrate on anything now. He was shaking but at the same time, he laid perfectly still just as he did when that man was all over him.

“Omega, look at me.” Alpha’s command went off and Louis gasped, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he stared at Harry.

There was a gun in Harry’s hand and Louis looked over to see the man on the ground right next to him. If he reached out to touch the ground his fingers would collide with the body and the blood that was all over him.

“Look at me.” This time he was yanked away from the scene, his face turned to the other side as he stared at Harry.

Anything that happened after that was just distant but at the same time very there.

Same as when you see an action movie and you’re really into it and character is running around and you just watch him but you sit still, frozen in your place, doing nothing. Louis watched as Harry threw pieces of clothes into the bag, grabbing his laptop, throwing everything into one bag.

His movements were quick but certain, he was collected, he was… Somewhere in the distance Louis realized that Harry knew exactly what he was doing and it’s only later when he’s dragged downstairs and forced outside in the cold, then pushed into the car, did he realize that he wasn’t in any pain, he wasn’t shot. He wasn’t the one that got shut.

“I’m alive.” He looked at Harry for confirmation. At Harry who wasn’t Harry now, he was Harry Styles, the Harry Styles, Louis felt too cold in this car, sitting only in his underwear and coat Harry put on him before they left.

Trembling in fear Louis looked down, checking for any damage done but so far it looked like he was right. He was alive or he was dead on his ride to heaven or hell.

“You’re fine, I attacked the guy before he could do anything, are you okay?” Harry poured words fast, Louis barely kept with his pace as he blinked trying to produce how had he gone from being happily asleep, cuddling next to Harry to scared and on verge of dying. “Baby, you’re in a mental shock, it’ll pass, listen to me, why don’t we keep talking, yeah?”

Mental shock.

Louis learned about this.

The shock is a medical condition that happens after an accident, he learned about this, this was part of his degree, he… He was taught how to deal with it if some accident in the class occurred.

“Louis?” Talking was one of the remedies, helping avoid panic attacks, excessive vomiting, stress, dropping if the person was an omega.

He was an omega.

He was dropping, he had the signs.

“Louis.” For probably the third time Harry used his alpha voice, keeping him out of it, pulling him back up because right now wasn’t exactly perfect time for this to happen.

The drop was an emotional state when omega went under and could not think for themselves and even if Harry was by his side now, bringing him back would be tough.

“Yes,” Louis replied, opening his mouth because he had to but not because he could remember what Harry asked.

“Yes, good, yeah, you cold?” Harry’s eyes didn’t wander to examine Louis but this could have been guessed without doing it. Almost naked he was sitting in a car, of course, he was cold, even if he didn’t notice until Harry asked. “Darling, you’re cold aren’t you, yes?”

“Yes, cold,” Louis repeated, trying to move his body to look around the car.

They were driving fast.

The view was more of a shape as they passed by rather than a scenery and uneasiness grew as he stared through the window.

“Okay, I can help you out with that,” Harry carried on talking. It was very dark outside, not suitable for driving this fast. Eighty miles per hour – that’s how fast they were going and Louis tried remembering if there were any sharp turns as they drove. “I can help you with that if you follow my lead and do what I say, okay?”

“Okay.”

It got easier after that as long as Harry kept his head working, asking questions and helping Louis get dressed. The duffle bag he had grabbed earlier had Louis’ sweatpants and Harry’s sweater in it. It took long for the clothing to end up on Louis but once he was dressed he could breathe easier.

“I don’t understand.” He dared to talk without being asked once his sanity or at least the bits of it were in their honored place.

The smell of Harry lingering in this oversized sweater helped to soothe his nerves too if it was even possible in such scenery after you had witnessed an attempt to attack you.

“I woke up when your heart rhythm changed drastically and immediately noticed what was going on so I got the gun that I kept behind the mattress and shot him before anything could have happened.”

Three months to go and Louis will have a baby in this family.

The thought of a baby being a victim in this kind of scenery in the future was frightening, sending weird chills through Louis’ body, Harry’s sweater seemed not doing its job now.

“Why was he there?”

Louis wouldn’t be Louis if he accepted a few sentences as a satisfactory answer. Not even irritated huff of breath, coming out from Harry could force him to re-think pushing it. It could have worked before Louis knew exactly how firm he stood his ground around Harry.

“I can only guess,” Harry answered reluctantly, his eyes on the road, however, one hand was on Louis’ knee, showing support and closeness they grew so accustomed to. Funny how six months ago Louis was hesitant to ask and receive a hug or cuddle from Harry but somehow they went from animalistic, rough sex to making love, sharing soft hugs, kisses and enjoying each other company. Almost funny how simple it was for everything to change only that Louis feared they will fall into that pattern again. “There must have been a snitch in my team, not a lot of people knew where we went.”

Louis couldn’t believe how naïve Harry had been. “People are talking in that house, it doesn’t take a genius to know where we went.” For a second Harry’s eyes flickered off the road, glancing at Louis, irritation written all over his face. “Oh my god, don’t pretend you didn’t know, going off the radar is not as easy, especially when people know. And the people in the mansion always talk about things, they like drama more than anything, you would expect something else from people who are mature.”

He wasn’t lying. At least not when it came to people talking – despite keeping private information about their job very closed up, people had some emotional disadvantages and latest topics had been so stupid, if you didn’t know better you would think they are in college with a bunch of jocks.

“I know people are talking but this time it was a small team of people, I kept everything secure enough to be off the radar.” Harry didn’t go into details but he lectured Louis as if insulted that he even guessed Harry wouldn’t take all the possible measures to ensure the safety for three of them.

And Louis was sure of that, he really was. Harry wouldn’t jeopardize their safety, maybe his own but not Louis and their daughter that’s for sure.

“I didn’t know you were having troubles at work.” A lie. He wasn’t entirely sure but he suspected if those endless hours spent by his laptop was anything to judge by. Harry was tense quite often and not the way he usually had been. In general, he wasn’t working that much, he had people he trusted, he had a running mechanism that allowed Harry to do more bossing than actual working so when hours dragged by this long Louis knew immediately something wasn’t working out.

“Yeah, that unexpected trip to the USA, remember?” The question was pointless for both of them. It’s when Louis ran away – both of them will remember that trip for forever. “It had to do with elections and they tried manipulating information out of us by using you on me, obviously, which is actually why we spent a while thinking or at least trying to believe that you were kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped?” Louis repeated stupidly, mouth agape. “They threatened to kidnap me in exchange of information and this is when you’re bringing this up? Months after the actual thing happened?”

Louis never had a personality quick to anger. Growing up in the big family meant a lot of discipline and there was no point in getting angry as it never worked out the good way so he was more to adjusting but boy, sometimes he did get angry. Rarely. But when he did… When he did then he gave no fucks to whatever was standing in front of him, even if that person was Harry, who literally had a gun next to him. It might have something to do with the fact that Louis was emotional, tired and angry but his blood was boiling.

“Well, it’s not like I had time to do that.” Harry snapped back but held back – this past month their bond had been more active than ever so he must be smart enough to shut his mouth in moments like this.

Plus, he was unfair, blaming Louis for his actions. “Yeah, not like before and after ever existed, right?” Louis mocked him, sarcasm in his voice as he crossed his arms. He might be tiny and he might be an omega but his fury was strong.

“Louis-“

“Don’t fucking Louis me, you asshole.” The sting together with surprise fell on Louis like a ton of weights and he bit his lip when he felt Harry’s change of emotions. This bond thing was really disturbing when he wanted to express himself, avoiding his soulmate’s feelings. “And now we are probably going to that mansion?”

Harry didn’t even have to bother to answer it but he did and Louis muttered ‘fucking great’ under his breath, turning his back to Harry but still tugging on his husband’s hand to stay on his thigh.

*

By the time they reached London the sun was peeking out, it was a late morning, already bright and Louis dreaded returning even more now when he knew the place will be buzzing, full of people, most of them examining him as they still hadn’t had a chance to see Louis after his grand performance called 'disappearing into Scotland'. Fact that Harry will have to work didn’t help at all.

Just yesterday they were doing DIY succulent garden as their new project of the day whilst cookies Louis was craving baked in the oven. And now they were back to kitchen chefs, maids, people in the house and completely different vibes.

They were back to place that wasn’t home and Frank Sinatra wasn’t playing in here on late evenings while Louis got on his knees for his husband or got very sweet lips on his private parts. At the mansion evenings were loud, bad music causing him a headache no matter how much they pretended that walls were sound isolating (actually they were, just that speakers left all around the house, blasting music on top volume was too much even for the walls).

“I hate this place with a passion,” Louis informed Harry just because he could. This place wasn’t happy no matter how long they lived in there together Louis was fine in there and that’s until he experienced what it was like to play family with Harry.

He looked at the bunch of cars parked around the house, gulping in fear as he realized how many people he’ll have to face today. If more than ten cars were anything to judge by, inside should be at least twenty people. Lovely.

“It’s not like I hate this place but I know now,” Harry assured him, turning off the engine and scurrying to help Louis out of the car. When angry his omega could be a little bit drastic and now this far into being pregnant he wasn’t exactly in the right state to jump out of the high vehicle on his own. “This is not a home for us and I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“One week and I leave to my mum’s.” Harry nodded, accepting Louis ultimatum.

Louis was yet to announce his pregnancy anyway so going to his mother’s or Harry’s too would seem like a proper solution, in addition, it also worked as a great threat too.

“One week.”

It was a promise. Louis could live with it.

*

Entering the mansion was every form of awful as it can get. Security let them through because of course, they would when he’s with Harry. Even if Louis wasn’t as widely known there was no doubt in Harry so they let them in with no questions and only one glance at Louis. Louis wondered what they thought of him – not only guards but everyone else too. Harry did not always wear his ring – a security precaution which Louis always saw as pointless until very recent events.

He could live with others not knowing about their marriage as long as he could live somewhere peacefully with his husband, not fearing he’ll be attacked like he had been.

However, it also meant that if Harry wore no ring, no one knew exactly what Louis was in this household. A mystery creature sometimes appearing in the doorway, on his way out each morning, a man that Harry brought with him to clubs, letting him stay in the booth by himself. He never thought about it before, but right now, when returning to a place with a baby inside him, Harry on his left, dressed like a pregnant man who is dependant on his alpha’s clothes and… And only if they are soulmates can male get pregnant. Louis doubted anyone knew they were soulmates.

Hell, people doubted Harry even had a soul let alone a soulmate. Under his face, Harry, of course, was a lot of things – sweet and caring too (if Louis did enough demanding to get that) but to others, he wasn’t like that. No one else got to see Harry when he’s scared or when he’s open to all emotions after orgasmic bliss and it took Louis years to get there even when he’s his soulmate.

So really, no surprise, that entering the house by Harry’s side got stinging silence in the hallway. Harry had the talent to radiate anger so intense it felt like everyone knew not to move around him.

“I want no one to leave the place, doors locked, windows locked, all security guards in their places, one person that is not found in here or is seen leaving will be dealt with accordingly.” Harry barked out orders at the security guy, the one that’s been here all the time since Louis moved here. Luke. If there were few guards Louis knew and respected enough to acknowledge Luke was his number one. He was there since the day one when Harry and he started dating so he was the closest Louis had gotten to someone in this house outside Harry. “If it is needed I’ll go through all the cameras myself.” He added and it was a threat.

Somehow usually relieved and chill company was tense now and Louis could sense that they were alarmed even when not knowing what exactly has happened. Sometimes Louis forgot that after all they were all trained to be armored, they were trained to be tricky and… And they were all dangerous.

Luke’s eyes darted downwards, taking Louis belly in.

“Congratulations.” He mouthed to Louis, wordless but clear enough for him to understand.

Louis nodded, smiling thankfully, ignoring how Harry kept barking orders to others. It was none of his business so he might as well didn’t bother himself about it.

“Go upstairs, try and get some sleep.” Harry was now turned to him, eyes attentive, a bit worried but only slightly as his attention was on something else now.

Louis blinked, biting his lip not to lash out at Harry because really, sleep after you were threatened with a gun? How genius. He doubted he’ll be able to sleep at all now and he wished for their bond not only to transfer emotions but thoughts of one another to be shared too.

“Okay?” Harry added not as sure as he was a few seconds ago. Louis looked away. What were you supposed to say in a moment like this? No, it wasn’t okay but Harry couldn’t stay with him. There were bigger matters he had to take care of and right now Louis shouldn’t demand attention even if he needed it. Sometimes in life, you can’t have things right this instant no matter how much you want to and this was one of those times.

Adjusting to his fate Louis mentally cringed, knowing that Harry will know very well what was going on right now, right when Louis thought of just being alright with it and not thinking about the stinging loneliness, lingering in his bones, settling there for a while until the whole week passed.

Harry surely got a sniff of it because he turned himself to Louis, placing his hands on his shoulders. This was the most affection he had gotten in this mansion when they were out of bedroom unless you count those times when Harry mounted over him with intentions to have sex and nothing else.

“Louis…” Harry trailed off, leaning in to kiss his forehead.

The touch was soft and exactly what Louis needed to be assured that it’s okay. Even if right now it’s not, it will be and Harry was stepping over so many boundaries, public display one of them as Louis stood right in front of him, allowing himself to drown in heat of Harry’s chest.

“I’m okay, it’s okay.” He assured Harry though they both saw right through it – this was a lie and he wasn’t exactly okay but what else was he supposed to say when Harry asked, almost pleaded for him to say that it was okay.

Louis registered some people being around them – quite awkward but not exactly as he couldn’t care less about it now. He was brought from his sleep too early today, he was attacked and he was scared so excuse him if right now he needed to be close to his mate.

“Call me if you need something,” Harry added, pulling back from him, one attentive glance before he left.

“Can I sleep in your office?” Louis asked the last second before Harry finally stepped away.

He wasn’t sure why he did when the answer was an obvious no anyway – Harry’s office will be used for meetings today, some additional tables might be brought there to turn it into a bigger office but Louis needed few more seconds. Just a few.

“I’m sorry.” Harry apologized but Louis brushed him off with a hand, motioning him to go.

“I’ll call you, yeah?” He offered a small smile and didn’t get a heartbreak as Harry moved to go upstairs. He didn’t, not at all.

Or even if he did he masked it the best he could, the last thing  he wanted right now was to make Harry feel bad. Half of those feelings weighing Louis down were Harry’s and even if Louis got attacked, Harry was the one responsible for it, as _his_ alpha, he had to protect Louis from things like these and those feelings of anger, mixed with failure were just not fair.

*

Sleeping wasn’t an option, which he had partly known before he even plopped himself under the covers in Harry’s bed, however, he still tried and got irritated. The baby kept turning and churning inside him, probably pissed off by the stress and early morning.

Harry was too busy for any calming signals and Louis decided not to waste his time pointlessly, instead, he woke up, dragging his ass downstairs to that hell hole where everyone talked about shit like there was no tomorrow.

Clearly they were the jobless ones as anyone important was at least kind of busy so Louis guessed they were less meaningful in here and they were obviously very bored as once Louis stepped in they shut their mouths – clearly they were talking about him (not that it bothered him too much though reminded him so much of high school).

Ignoring them , Louis stepped further into the dining/kitchen area. His goal was to find something to eat and calm down the baby. Recently he has been craving some foods and if right now he inspected it well enough, cereal with additional sugars and some lemon juice could and should calm her down. Technically you should be done with cravings by the time you enter the third trimester but for Louis only now have his cravings started, a few weeks ago actually, and it amused Harry endlessly, which was fine by Louis, however, now a lot less because there were other people who will judge.

He felt eyes on him as he snatched a cereal box, fishing through cupboards to get all sorts of syrups and a lemon, squeezing the juice all over his masterpiece.

“So…” Of course, someone just had to address him, he thought bitterly adding some almond milk into his breakfast. “You got knocked up?” It was more of an insult than a question and Louis didn’t miss that snappy tone and asshole behavior. If anyone else did that, Louis might have nodded and excused himself but Chad was an asshole.

He was always around, Louis wasn’t even sure he had an actual job to do, maybe warming the kitchen seat or being an asshole but that’s where it ends, however, he always had a thing for pretending he was something cool.

“Well, congratulations! You’re actually smart,” Louis snorted, his voice full of sarcasm. “What gave it away though? It’s not like it’s obvious.”

Few people snorted – no one liked the Chad guy around here, really. He had been around for almost a year now and Louis had some guesses that this guy might be the one to take care of drugs – he perfectly resembled a picture of a damaged brain.

Louis’ remark was a low blow to him though, it’s not like he would bother a lot to react to his words any other day so Chad never even came for him, he had other people to pick on but it looked like now he suddenly had a death wish of some kind.

“Well aren’t you a mouthy little twink, huh?” Chad smirked, standing up, trying to look threatening. Oh, those guys and their egos. The one thing they couldn’t bear was being laughed at and Louis had been with them enough times during University  to see right through them.

Public execution was the worst thing that could happen for them, so in order to make themselves look bigger and cooler they mocked others, they basically laughed at others and as stupid as it sounds, sometimes even if they were in their thirties or even older they would put others down just to prove their ‘manly’. Louis had seen this guy grabbing and touching without others crescent when he shouldn’t have, so this basically sums it all up.

And right now he was going after Louis. Louis who spent weeks freezing his ass off, being stressed and literally going through hell, Louis who almost died three times, Louis who had to get his strength back, Louis who had panic attacks, Louis who was fucking pregnant, mind you. And being fucking pregnant meant stress, vomiting, back pains, swollen ankles, sleepless nights, nightmares, should he keep on going? No? Yeah, well the list was endless, really, and right now this fucking cunt was thinking that he could come and walk across him? Well, not to-fucking-day.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Louis turned, staring right at him, surprising not only the Chuck guy but others in the room too.

Louis was the quiet one, that’s for sure. He spent most of his time in his chambers (or Harry’s) being as unnoticed as possible – sometimes he succeeded, sometimes he didn’t but still, he was more of a loner guy over here – he didn’t have friends, others didn’t exactly know who he was unless they were people working with Harry for more than four years but Louis knew only the Luke guy and some staff members, others even if popped out for a minute left instantly or never got around to befriend Louis (not that he was keen to do so too), so yeah, it might have surprised others that he had it in himself.

“Excuse me?” The Chuck guy chuckled, looking around looking a little bit spooked. Good. At least he wasn’t thinking he was above Louis right now.

Because he really wasn’t and Louis had noticed him before, which said a lot. His narcissistic demeanor pissed him off but he never been part of these dramas in the house so he kept out of it, until now, when someone thought they could just jump on him.

Hell, no.

“What, you deaf now?” Okay, so maybe pregnancy and emotions had something to do with it, yeah? Usually, Louis kept his character and his anger locked away, rather ignoring than acknowledging but this guy was being a prick and Louis had a stressful fucking day.

Yet the other guy was not even trying to take it into consideration and the way Louis was making him look like a fool right now pissed him off. His broad shoulders tensed and he stood up, posing that he was ready for a fight, which Louis didn’t think could happen. First of all, he doubted anyone would dare to touch him, no one could be that stupid right?

Yeah, well. The fight isn’t only fists and punches, it can be words and the prick clearly went out for it.

“Look, just because you’re spreading your little legs out there very nicely for our boss, doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to shit, so why don’t you just fix your attitude?”

To this, even Louis was at loss of words for a second, his mouth popping open as he stared at this guy as if he was a pure idiot (he was, really) and then… Then he couldn’t help himself and he just laughed.

Looking Chuck straight in the eyes he laughed out loud.

“Who the fuck do you think you are and who on earth do you think you’re talking to?” Louis snorted out, crossing his arms over his chest. Chuck opened his mouth to answer but Louis silenced him with a motion of his hand. “Look, darling, let’s get one thing straight – you don’t come after me in this house. Not you, not anyone else unless you have a fucking death wish. With a snap of my fingers you are going to be out of here in no time and if I am fucking unhappy, then believe me when I say that Harry will do whatever it takes to fucking change that so unless you want to have some problems, mind your own fucking business and stay out of my way.”

There was a silence. Dead silence as Louis' heart kept beating faster than it did just a few minutes ago, anger and annoyance taking over his sane mind and he knew that Harry was on his way right now. These emotions were too strong for him not to notice and Louis could feel Harry’s concern and worry as he got into a search of Louis. There was also a wave of panic, probably when he didn’t find Louis in his bedroom. Thirty seconds at most until he’ll come down searching for him and this is something Louis will never admit but he knew that and this was why he stepped forward, trying to look as intimidating as possible when being shorter than everyone in this room.

“Are we clear?” He asked, looking at Chuck as if Louis was prior, which he actually was because uhm, hello, even if he had some issues with Harry, he was Harry’s husband. Whatever that was going on in here was in some way Louis wealth too. When they got married agreement form for Harry’s money was a firm no and according to the law if you are soulmates you can’t sign anything of such kind, it simply won’t be agreed to and confirmed so basically Louis was just as much of an owner of whatever Harry owned, equally to his husband. This mansion was no exception and actually, Harry’s business was no exception too.

He doubted anyone knew that, really. Soulmates were a rarity and their laws were kind of different so even when Harry’s parents had some mentions of that arrangement it was short-lived because even if Louis had signed it, it would have been rejected and that’s basically how Harry’s parents found out they were soulmates.

So if Harry’s parents didn’t know that, he really shouldn’t have expected for someone like Chuck to know that so maybe this is why he didn’t reply instantly instead of stepping forward to Louis, mounting over him.

Good.

Harry was about to enter the kitchen area anyway so this was great.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” Chuck opened his mouth but no words came out as Harry’s firm tone wavered in the room, taking Chuck at least one step further away from Louis.

It took all of his self-control not to look smug right then when Chuck got a scare of his life and Harry got furious as hell.

The way they stood right now must be clear enough to understand what was going on without asking. And Harry was nothing if not possessive over his pregnant husband, which Louis knew and sensed.

While either of them didn’t bother to answer Harry didn’t bother to stay in his place as he moved to stand in front of Louis, placing his hands over his cheeks, lifting his face up to look at Louis attentively, asking if he was okay with his green eyes, expressing nothing but concern and Louis should relax, display some affection too but right now he had some position to prove.

“Keep your dogs on a leash.” He hissed surprising himself more than he surprised Harry. This was not very common for Louis to speak up, let alone play an asshole. “Or else your week will turn into one day and I don’t give a fuck what security precautions you have to take. If I want to leave, I'll leave.”

This was not Louis speaking.

It was Louis body and Louis' mouth but not him speaking and he bit his lip, eyes wide after he lashed out in front of everyone. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry dragged him upstairs by the hair now and locked him in the room for the next week to come and even more but he didn’t.

Instead, he adverted his eyes on the Chuck, probably thinking what had to be said to piss off his pregnant husband this much. Also, it might be because Louis’ omega was a whiny little thing that kept sniffing silently begging for this misery to end and cuddling into a tiny ball, begging for his alpha to take him away where he would feel secure.

“Let’s take your cereal upstairs.” Harry turned to the bowl of soon to be a soggy mess that Louis despised with his very own heart but still ate because the consistency was so good for his pregnant fucked up brain. Seriously, he must have damaged his senses somewhere along all this dying and shit.

“Get me some peanut butter and chips?”

Harry only hummed, grabbing foods from the cupboard, leading Louis upstairs.

*

“You really don’t have to,” Louis assured Harry for the tenth time in five minutes, feeling really bad – Harry had tons of things to do but he still laid next to Louis right now, massaging his painful back, kissing his neck softly, his bowl of cereal emptied.

He was promised attention somewhere this week, the least he expected was for Harry to come up to bed, giving Louis half an hour.

“I do,” Harry argued, pulling Louis back closer into his embrace. He really wanted to push it but Harry’s arm was so comfortable to put his head on… So comfortable to use as a pillow. Louis didn’t want to think of whose expense Harry cuddled here with him. He probably missed lunch for this or maybe he’ll have to give away an hour from his sleep.

Louis knew Harry was used to forcing his mechanisms work even on few hours of sleep but it didn’t mean Louis wanted him to do so.

“Stop worrying.” Harry nibbled on his ear, sending tingles down his husband’s body.  There were no heats and ruts throughout the whole pregnancy, but the fact was that the arousal and neediness didn’t disappear. “I want you to sleep,” Harry added, his hands not going below his waist.

“I don’t think that I can sleep,” Louis admitted – spending weeks with Harry by his side made it quite difficult for him to manage it on his own. Quite sucked, to be honest, but sleeping with his mate by his side really made it better.

Harry experienced it too, even if he never said it, Louis noticed it anyway. He was a caretaker and caregiver on a very different level than his alpha – it was in his nature to notice changes on Harry’s body such as slumped shoulders and dark bags under his eyes. It might have something to do with the fact that Louis was always a bigger brother and his mother relied on him to notice things in the house.

Strong arms wrapped around him securely, pushing Louis body closer to Harry’s, which was too cozy for Louis not to moan. “Omega.” Harry scolded him, addressing to his neediness like he himself wasn’t equally to blame. A liar. Louis bucked his hips backward just to prove his point and snorted when Harry growled.

It’s only later when Louis is a total mess, breathing heavily with his legs spread, does he realize that he kept Harry for longer than it was good and acceptable and guilt spreads over his chest, which makes Harry freeze midway through putting on his pants. Louis doesn’t find it funny, not at all.

“Stop it.” Harry’s glare is too soft to pass  as an actual threat so Louis just hums and rolls over to his other side, snatching Harry’s pillow with the intention to use it as Harry’s replacement for the time being.

There’s guilt in Harry’s eyes but Louis brushes it off with a smile and soft peck.

He doesn’t blush when Harry presses a soft kiss on his belly and bids goodbye to both Louis and their baby girl.

*

A promise is a promise and Harry has never broken a promise before unless he couldn't help it. So one week later he moves them to a beautiful place that Louis immediately falls in love with.

It’s nothing like Harry would like and that’s what he notices first. It’s everything and even more of what Louis was looking for when in search of where he wanted them to live in. The house is not far from the mansion and Harry’s office, which is a place that Louis never knew exactly. It’s also not far from the school Louis worked in because apparently, he is on leave now. When Harry mentions it, Louis almost doesn’t catch it but it’s there – an option in case Louis wanted to have one and he’s thankful that Harry doesn’t insist on him being a house husband forever.

Four bedrooms. Harry confirms that none of them are for staff and Louis doesn’t ask for who they are but the way Harry is singing and talking to his seven month belly, Louis can take a guess.

It’s also unfurnished, apart from the absolute necessities, which gives Louis something to work with for the rest of the months while he waits for Melody’s arrival.

Melody.

They have a name now.

Harry picked it in the sweetest way possible – Louis found him asleep in his office chair, a book of baby names under his chin, an endless list of girls names, Harry had marked his favorite ones. Delilah, Darcy, Melody – Louis loved Melody the most, Harry kissed him when he said that.

There’s a huge garden too, no pool area – they are still in England after all but a huge garden area comes with patio, couches and enough space for whatever outdoor activity they would ever want to plan. First thing Louis thinks of is a playground.

The playground is the second thing Louis buys after the baby crib.

There’s also an open library in the house with a big wooden door leading to Harry’s office – Louis is given the right to have a say in decorating and Harry has only one demand – a couch comfortable enough for sleeping in case someone decides to nap while he’s working.

He doesn’t look straight at Louis when he says that, he really doesn’t. Or at least Louis has enough decency to pretend he doesn’t see it.

Harry does his best to keep his schedule as clear as possible – he’s at the house most of the days for most of the time and tries not to leave Louis alone for more than few hours when he leaves for meetings. He now wears jeans more often than not and Louis shouldn’t be this horny this far into the pregnancy but he’s a hormonal man so please don’t blame him that he finds rutting against Harry’s thigh to be one of his favorite pass time activities.

They even buy an excessive amount of frames to put on the walls in the house, they’re mostly empty but Harry has an archive full of their wedding, holidays and other pictures so they fill up one fifth of them and Louis doesn’t cry when he finds the ultrasound framed securely on Harry’s desk in his office.

Life’s good.

He doesn’t pinch himself purposely but it’s more than he ever asked for and those dreams of having a family become reality.

He goes into labor unexpectedly in a very Louis way – it’s when he finally gets Harry to let him drive and they are on their way to the cinema when his water breaks. Thankfully he’s at the red light or else something bad might have happened.

Throughout the whole labor, Louis tries to make Harry promise that this was not the last time he was allowed to drive, probably amusing the nurses and other doctors around them endlessly.

He gets a promise that Harry will think about it and that’s the best he can hope for because he actually has to push and is a little bit too busy with other things.

Melody’s born twenty hours after Louis’ been brought to the hospital.

She’s healthy and beautiful and it’s family.

They are a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal Instagram for those who are curious and wish to DM me: sbalkauskaite  
> EWB fic Instagram for DMing too (tho I'm almost never on that account): haroldsnotmname

**Author's Note:**

> For contacting please leave a comment or follow me on my Instagram: sbalkauskaite


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